How do you practice safe sex with oral?

[mmonroe]

Genuine question.

My very long term relationship ended a little while ago. I am just thinking of the future and potentially meeting someone else.

Of course I want to practice safe sex and use condoms but I have no idea how oral sex is performed safely. Is it done over the condom?

Can anyone advise as apart from asking a new partner to produce a doctor's note of his sexual health, I don't know what else to do.

I'm just saying what 95% of men would feel. If the OP has talked with her prospective partner about his recent sexual history and he hasnt been sleeping with lots of partners then she will be fine.
If he has been sleeping around then a check up would be a good idea and one I wouldnt mind doing if I was in that position.
I know there is a slight chance of catching those aforementioned infections from unprotected oral sex but that is a tiny chance compared to unprotected penetrative sex.

I'm not sexist either!! but I can be a twat at times

'If the OP has talked with her prospective partner about his recent sexual history and he hasnt been sleeping with lots of partners then she will be fine.'

This is a really silly attitude. It's not about how many partners you have had. It only takes one infected partner to pass it on to you. You seem to have it in your head that only more 'active' people pass infections around to each other. How does a virus judge that and decide 'oh ok, I'll infect this person, but not this person'. If you sleep with someone who's slept with, say, 3 people, and each of those three people have slept with 3 other people, and each of those has slept with 3 other people, and each of those has slept with 3 other people (really not a large amount of contacts each, this could easily be the sexual activity for less that one year), by then you've been exposed to the possible infections of 121 people.

You can know you can get pregnant from only doing it once, as well? Or do you believe that old wives tale too?

Well men can't be tested for hpv and nobody can be tested for herpes so your logic is flawed. You can contract and sti from the first person you have sex with, fidelity is no guarantee of safety. I suggest you read back your post and have a little think about what is wrong with it and why I read sexism and twattishness into it.

So, gloves + oral dams + condoms = ok to have sex.

I'd sooner have a cup of tea and read a book. Seriously, no one leads their lives like that.

at shagging passport, ha ha...

I recently began a new relationship and we used condoms for the first couple of months, during which time I asked my guy if we could both get a full sexual health MOT at the GUM clinic.

He agreed and we went and had all the tests done, including a rapid results HIV test fo free, which I was told the outcome of on the spot, so there was no nerve-wracking wait.

We had to wait two weeks to get all of the results back but it was worth it for a) peace of mind and b) being able to dispense with the condoms. The clinic also fitted me with a contraceptive implant in a separate appointment.

I would not hesitate to have it done again as I was really impressed with the service, which was completely free and bloody brilliant. The staff could not have been more helpful and I did not feel at all embarrassed there.

Although it was my suggestion, my bf said afterwards that it was a good idea and he was really glad we'd had it done.

So our "shagging passports" are up to date

There's too much paranoia about oral STDs. I think the chances of getting anything are remote. I've given and received with quite a few people without problem. I would rather not bother at all than use dams/condoms.

badger that's your choice of coarse and the choice of your sexual partners

I'm sure we all know people who smoked all their lives and never got cancer, drank all their lives and never got liver disease, are a shit diet and never got heart disease etc. having unprotected sexual contact increase your risk of getting and passing on STD's and I certainly wouldn't belittle any ones choices to protect themselves to whatever degree they feel is acceptable to them until they've both been tested.

We're all adults here. We can all make our own choices. To me though, if I met somebody worth having sex with and they wanted to be safer than I did, if they were worth it then I'd do it, if they weren't worth it I wouldn't and they would know how little they were worth to me so being careful is a good way of weeding out.

If I thought a man had public lice or syphilis I wouldn't suck his cock even if he had a condom on, I'd be thinking he was a dirty bastard and he'd be out the door!

There you go OP easy to weed out the pricks who don't give a damn about you and just want their cock sucked.

Interesting........

94,000 women in England contracted an STI in 2012 (excluding Chlamydia, 213,000 if you do, but hey, a 7 day course of antibiotics isn't really going to change anyones life too drastically)

Numbers of females in England in 2012, 27 million. We also know that the big numbers in the infection group come from the under 24 age sector.

Wow, with odds like those, Mums better keep the oral dams and gloves on at all times, and make sure we keep a bottle of antiseptic with us when we go on dates. Never know what you might, or might not, catch.

Sources;
www.medicalobserver.com.au/news/detecting-and-treating-chlamydia
www.hpa.org.uk/Topics/InfectiousDiseases/InfectionsAZ/STIs/STIsAnnualDataTables/#1._STI_Report

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trivialising this topic, but come on, how many people have sex of all varieties - casual, ONS, FB, cheaters, singles moving on, rampant players, innocent partners to cheaters, prostitution et al with how many other people per year, and exactly HOW low are the rates of infections?

We always hear the 'and get an STI test as you LTB/kick him out' comments here when yet another husband has cheated, but how many poor cheatees (is that a word?) have caught something they didn't want or need? I'd wager, very, very few, if any.

I speak as one of the small number on here who has had a lot of casual sex in the past over decades, with a large number of different partners, on many occasions not 1 on 1, was exceedingly lax on the safe sex front and have never caught anything, other than thrush from my long term partner of the last decade.

Go on, tell me it was only luck, and nothing to do with the rates of infection.

Yes beach side. And how man of that 94k got an sti through oral? Less than 5% I'd bet. And we are talking about dams? More likely to be hit by a bus

Yes beachside it was luck! Are you for real? And you know that chlamydia can cause infertility don't you? Fucking hell.

Seriously, I'm with you on not fancying sex gloves or oral dams, and I'd rather take my chances or not have sex. But to belittle the risk of contracting stis and suggests that protection is unnecessary is stupid. Do you apply that same logic and not bother with condoms?

And cricket - I notice you post again when someone agrees with you, but didn't respond to any other previous posts addressing you. Would you care to?

beachside

I don't know why you feel the need to convert those of us who prefer to err on the side of caution and so increase our risks, no matter how small you see them as being? My own experience tells me most people agree with you and out the pleasure ahead of the risk.

As I said before, we are all adults here and are all responsible for our own sexual health. It's up to the individual to decide what's right for them based on their judgement. Of course any one of us could could argue that we are far more likely to be killed on the roads and so should avoid cars!

Talking about contraception and protection is a great way to see if the person you are considering having sex with is worth it. Sex is fun, but even a one night stand requires standards and I'd rather be with somebody considerate of feelings, even if they don't agree with the risks. Of course this stance will weed people out, but that's the idea. Sex is fun but standards are about self respect. You have your standards and that's fine, not everyone will agree with you.

Couldn't read this without commenting.

Am recently divorced after being married for 20 years. Met a guy I really liked and began a lovely relationship. We both had full testing at GUM clinic... luckily everything came back negative...

We had sex, without any protection (I have a coil so wasn't worried about pregnancy)....I have now contracted herpes. It doesn't show positive in tests. He says he didn't know he had it. I believe him fwiw. (his reaction to his first outbreak was proof enough).

I'm not with him anymore....and it wasn't related to that happening...it lasted a while but ended mutually...

And now, I'm left with the herpes. As my name says sh*t happens.

We both thought we were being careful. I had only been with my husband, and doubt it had been dormant for over 20 years.

Does it matter what the odds are?