When a man fucks up.....

[ohcrikey21]

would you expect him to come up with how to fix it? Or work on it together? Or tell him what you want him to do?

I found texts on his phone to someone else.... I can forgive but I don't want to just go back to normal.....

He took her number drunk.
He texted her drunk.
If she had replied you KNOW he would have shagged her. But it would be excusable. Because he'd be drunk.
There are men out there who don't act like this. Even when drunk.
"Never deletes any texts." I would bet next months salary that does not include the most incriminating ones.

He said this girl knew he was with someone.
She gave him the number and his mates egged him on to text. (I did ask if he was actually 15).

I think if I wouldn't have seen the text that would have been it. I just had a funny feeling so decided to check his phone.

Maybe he was just insecure. But insecure men are NOT worth the hassle in my extensive experience.
"I'm just really insecure"
Wot a turn on...
The man who bags me better be very very secure, cos it's the insecure ones who do the most damage.

I do believe that people when drunk don't do things they don't want to do. They do exactly what they want to do.

You got an insight into what he really is like. Up to you to believe this insight or ignore it.

After reading all your posts...

DUMP.

Just dump.

Yes, you are being a mug.

No, what he did wasn't an 'accident'.

No, you won't ever trust him again - why the hell would you, this is a guy who'll casually look elsewhere even when all is fun and rosy.

Yes, he does think it's ok - otherwise he wouldn't have done it!

Let's repeat that last one:

He DOES think it's ok otherwise he wouldn't have done it.

You have no children together, you have no ties - you absolutely should walk away. As you said, this is what he does when things are GOOD. You would be a FOOL to join forces with a man like this. Especially when you have children. Go on - DO BETTER BY YOURSELF AND THEM.

This will end in deep, twisting, agonising hurt for you if you stay with him.... I'm sorry this has happened but he has zero respect or romantic love for you.

So what he is telling you is that he cannot control his actions when he is drunk. You wanted him to 'do something' to prove himself, so ask him to give up drink. Forever.

Never, ever have a single drop of alcohol because, by his own admission, he cannot be sure that he won't cheat. He can't help it can he? It was alcohol's fault, so no more alcohol.

Simple.

So the girl knowing he 'had someone' is to get him off the hook for not telling her this.

He's lying through his arse!

He's painting her as the whore, and he's the helpless little boy whose mates made him do it.

Is this a man to keep? Really?

Did you say you feel a like a mug ?

Right you are.

I'm sorry I just can't believe you think this is/ will be a one off ...

You say you checked his phone because you had a 'funny feeling'. Has he got form for this?

Your either the faithful type or not, and hes not, sorry, he sounds like a complete chancer.

You should read more of the horrible stories on here. Of women with children,trusting their husbands of 20 years,until they find the text. Count yourself lucky,and bow out.

So as well as looking for someone to shag on a night out, he also involved his friends in his attempted infidelity?

Aren't you humiliated?

They must all think you're a total fool.

What's that saying, when someone shows you who they are, believe them...!

What Scarlett said ^^

Also, if he's telling the truth his mates are total arseholes - goading him on to cheat? How could you ever trust him on a night out again? And this has happened when things are good between you?

Too much hassle for a man you're not tied to. Get rid.

Although I appreciate that's easy for me to say.

You're checking his phone this early on?!

His next accident would have been falling and landing penis first in some woman.
Trust me I know from bitter experience things will never be the same again even if you try to move on.
Every time his phone goes, you'll twitch.
That new female friend he adds on Facebook or Xbox or the woman he mentions a lot at work? Twitch.
Stomach drops. Checking his phone in the middle of the night shaking from fear of what you might find.

Don't put yourself through that please op. x

After a silly discrection such as this, I always thought you should give a man one more chance. I was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong.

And what will happen the next time he is feeling "insecure" and on another night out? Especially if things aren't as good as they are now?

Trust me, get rid.

...go back to normal.
This is the new normal. He is training you to be his background girl incase he can't score from trolling on the guys night out. In any scenario in which you stay, this is what your role in his life will be. He does not respect you...and imho, he does not respect women in general.

There are worse things than being "alone", (and you are not alone, you have dc), and this circumstance with a guy like this is one of them.

Another thumbs down here, sorry.

My name's Joysmum and I used to be insecure.

However, insecurity means I'm not secure in what my husband feels about me. Insecure doesn't mean I go out and try to get attention from other men!