DH and I have argued about housework since we moved in together 14 years ago.
We are now married and have 3 DC, aged 6, 4 and 2 months. The baby needs a lot of bfing and wasn't putting on much weight. He was sleeping too much and I was letting him. Now I don't let him and it means much more timr spent sitting on the sofa, especially in the evenings.
We talked about the house and having three children and how it would be hard to keep it very tidy but I said I would do my best. So far I have managed to get the kitchen and living room tidy every evening. Yesterday I dudn't quite finish the washing up before DH got home from work at 9pm. He is currently working 12 hour days and the weekend and is knackered.
He saw the washing up hadn't been finished and said "I honestly don't know why you find it so difficult". It was like a red rag to a bull, I was accused of overreacting but to me it just signifies that our relationship will never change, he will never cut me some slack and he will always see me as I was 14 years ago (a bit of a slattern) and no matter how much I change it will not change anything.
We had both talked about our reactions to things but obviously he doesn't hear when I say that those kind of comments are demoralising and he just focuses on how I need to change my reaction to things.
I will sound like a complete child now but why the fuck should I change my attitude when he still has the same attitude towards me?
I appreciate that this isn't the worst thing to happen in a relationship but it has been eating away at us for years.
What do I do?