feeling bitter and hopeless

[Stephenthesquirrel]

I separated from my H of 10 years at the start of December. Things hadn't been great for a while, he had wanted to separate earlier and I begged him to stay but things got worse as I felt I was having to constantly prove I was worthy of him whilst he put little or no effort into our relationship. Our sex life had been ropey for many years but disappeared as he withdrew affection as there was 'no sex reward' for him.
We were very young when we met and discussed wanting children and agreed we did but would wait. After we married H told me he wasn't sure if he wanted children anymore. My world was rocked, I considered leaving but thought we were young enough that he might change his mind and at that point in time I wasn't ready to be a mum so put it to the back of my mind.
We went through a rough time around 5 years ago when I found out he'd been seeing someone else although he claims he never slept with her. We went to counselling and managed to move past it. Around a year or so later H said that he thought we should try for a baby and we went on to have our beautiful DS. The problem is that I feel that my family is incomplete. I never wanted only 1 child and spoke to H before conceiving DS who agreed at the time, but my H has now left. I'm in my mid 30s and feel I gave H the best years of my life and there is very little chance that I will meet someone else and complete my family. Is it normal to feel like this? I feel so bitter!

It's understandable if you feel cheated but if you want another child, there's nothing really stopping you. You don't actually have to meet someone else. In fact, having been a lone parent since the birth of my own DS, I'd say my experience of single motherhood has been a lot more rewarding and a lot less stressful than if I'd been trying to accommodate a partner at the same time. FWIW I don't think his only child status makes our family 'incomplete' either... but there is a lot of prejudice out there.

Work out what you want and go for it. Feeling bitter is a waste of time and solves nothing.

Excellent post Cogito.

Thank you for the replies. Cognito it's really only my own self esteem that would hold me back from doing it alone. I struggled so much with the newborn stage and I'm not confident how I would cope with an older child and a new baby. Also finances are very tight.
I didn't mean to offend anyone when I said my family is imcomplete I meant that is simply how I feel. I always wanted more but now that looks as though it wont happen I feel destroyed.

I understand it's how you feel but, with respect, if you feel destroyed it's because on the one hand the only thing preventing you from achieving your goal are some self-imposed obstacles and on the other you're not making the most of what you've actually got sitting right there in front of you i.e. a lovely DS.

Happiness is.... counting your blessings. Misery is.... wasting time pining for something you can't have.