Bit of an incoherent ramble, but I'm feeling really low

[EekyBeaky]

Feeling really low at the moment, essentially because despite being a few weeks off giving birth to DC1(so should be excited and happy) I feel sad about the state of my relationship and very much alone. I don't know what the answer is. DH is so distant from me. Blows hot and cold with me - sometimes really sweet, other times snappy and talks to me like I'm an idiot / picks arguments even in front of others. Either way, unaffectionate (zippo sex life, never comes to bed when I do) - I get "grandma kisses" as I call them! Hasn't been in to the pregnancy at all (never asks how I feel or about the birth plan or anything) so feel like I've done, and will do, this whole process on my own. Sometimes wish I wasn't pregnant (and have hideous guilt about that). Don't know if I am just being super hormonal and now is not the time for making any big/rash decisions about whether we should be together - but at the same time I feel that things could get worse post baby arriving and I may as well bite the bullet now and say that I'd be happier in my own - arrgghhh. How do I break that news given timing (hypothetical question). We've been for counselling before, at my instigation and, whilst he totally engaged in it at the time, it has clearly achieved nothing as I am back to where I was when I kicked that off. Rambling I know. Apologies. X

Hi there, didn't want to read and run and I'm sure many more wiser folk will be along soon to offer good advice.
I'm in a similar position in that I'm expecting DC1 in 3 weeks. I'm finding it a super difficult time (even with a DP who is interested!) and have wished that I wasn't pregnant on many occasions too so please don't feel guilty on that score.
It's a time of great uncertainty and change and men deal with that in very different ways. Some are very interested and feel like they are missing out, others feel they have very little to contribute and are not sure quite what to make of it all (esp the hormonal partner bit which inevitably happens !)
Having a non-existent sex life at the moment is also (from my experience) very normal (severe SPD type pain has made this difficult for us). My DP and I chatted through it and reassured each other that this was a temporary period in our relationship and that our feelings hadn't changed in any way. We have kept the lines of communication open about this issue.
In answer to your question, now is probably not the time to be making such a major decision. Things are in a massive state of flux and could change significantly after the birth. I know plenty of men who were uninterested beforehand who went on to step up to the plate afterwards and enjoy every minute.
Why not see if you can gently press for a bit more emotional support beforehand and try and ride of the storm so that you can look forward to making a more informed decision 6 months down the line?
Big hugs. It's a really stressful but exciting time.

What was the reason for the counselling previously? If your relationship was rocky before the pregnancy I can understand why he is distant from you now. You both appear to feel trapped in something neither of you want. On balance, while it may not be the best time to be making big decisions, I think an honest conversation is long overdue.

Thanks both of you. I was getting in a real mess last night. Counselling was for the same reasons as have come up again now - me feeling unloved and rejected basically. Never think he really wants to be here, it's a matter if time before he isn't etc etc. Need to get myself sorted and fnd a bit of backbone to front this one! Thanks again.