What is the least selfish course of action?

[foxybingodotcom]

Apologies if this is long or in the wrong topic, I thought this might be the best place for some advice.

I'm currently happily married and have a DS who is 2.5, we conceived him after 2 rounds of IVF with ICSI and various FETs and were absolutely thrilled to find out it had worked and we had one remaining embryo which was frozen. We decided when he arrived and made our lives amazing that we'd give it a shot with the frozen embryo when the times was right and if it happened it happened and if it didn't it didn't.

So roll on 2.5yrs later and it didn't happen . .

I'm now tortured with the decision we made and my DH feels that was irrelevant and we can make new decisions now based on how we feel.

The issue is really that I would desperately love another child and to give my DS a sibling but to even have another try which is a looong shot anyway would cost me both financially but also emotionally and I'm scared of what that cost is - previously there was no-one else to think of but me and DH and we're both adults, now my DS needs to be at the centre of my decision making and I can't decide if it is more selfish for me to try again or not to try at all . . .

Apologies if this is rambling, i've thought myself round and round in more circles than I care to think about anymore!

Cross posted, best of luck with it :-)

OP - we were in a very similar position, one lovely DS, though very seriously about second round, had to make a decision in fairly short order as next step would have to be hysterectomy due to underlying issues that necessitated IVF in the first place.

At length we resolved that giving DS a sibling was not a good enough reason in itself at all, had to be about the possible DC not a solution to a sibling problem in itself IYSWIM.

With a "bird in the hand" DS, it seemed like a big risk in terms of £ and the stress in relation to our DS.

And whilst this is not at all a reason for the decision we have (as Custardo suggests), resolved that one of the advantages that DS will have as an only one (as I was) - private education, due to the poor catchment school.

Good luck, whatever you decide.