Hi
I am feeling so down at the moment in my relationship. I have been with my DH for nearly twenty years. We are married and have two children.
We have always had separate finances. I have got Into debt in the past and am on a debt management plan based on my earnings.
I lost my job in march and took a massive knock to my confidence. I have a pay off which has lasted me until now. Just after I lost my job my dh business got into trouble and I paid everything and gave him a lot of money to keep his business going. I needed this money back to support myself. Most money that has been paid back has been used by me to pay household bills etc. I always made sure he had money and gave it graciously.
I always intended on going back to work by now. The issue is that in my industry part time work does not come up. I would be working long hours with possible travel. My dh works long hours and with two young children it would not be possible. One of us needs to have regular hours for the children. My little one would also be in nursery 5 days and long hours. If I take a part time job it would be minimum wage and my childcare would cost more than I will earn
I enrolled on a part time course yesterday to retrain so I can return to work when my youngest starts school.
The issue I have is money. I have an income from a rental property and get minimum tax credits. The problem is I still pay 50% of all bills and this is wiping that out so I am left with nothing. I hate asking him for money and find it really demoralising. He gave me money today which paid for my personal bills, petrol in the car and food shopping. I don't have a penny in my purse. I am worried about money every day and he has just gone out now because I am crying and he is sick of it.
I can't do this. I feel like the balance in our relationship has totally shifted.
What do I do? I feel totally stuck
Thank you if you've got this far.