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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need hand holding

16 replies

noslimbody · 28/01/2014 13:26

My emotional abusive h has said he is leaving and is making arrangements.
I feel sad that he didn't care enough to change
short changed and used
How can I manage to be a single parent to 5 children, two of whom have autism? WTF am I going to do?

OP posts:
noslimbody · 28/01/2014 13:27

It is taking everything I have right now not to email him about my sadness that he couldn't change his ways

OP posts:
Custardo · 28/01/2014 13:28

you'll manage, if hes not a good husband, best get rid - I wouldn't cry or beg in front of him,

If it were my husband - i'd tell ihim to hurry up about it and leave his key

I would also want to know that my finances are in order - this would be my main consideration with 5 children, I would make appointments to see the relevant agencies (ab, solicitor etc) asap

Custardo · 28/01/2014 13:29

*CAB that should read.

I think telling him your emotional position might be cathartic to you - but won't make a jot to him and it would destroy my soul to let my DH know anything about me if he left

CogitoErgoSometimes · 28/01/2014 13:38

Don't e-mail him about your sadness. Bullies love knowing they've crushed their victim into the dirt so don't give him the satisfaction. Do you have friends or family you can talk to? There's lots you can do from a practical standpoint - CAB, solicitors, etc - but right now you need moral and emotional support most. Good luck

iamonthepursuitofhappiness · 28/01/2014 13:40

You will manage and actually you might find it easier than you think when you aren't wasting energy tiptoeing around his emotional abuse.

Put in a claim for Income Support and you should get called in to see your Lone Parent Advisor at the Job Centre. You should be entitled to IS, Council Tax Benefit, Housing Benefit (interest on your mortgage if you have a mortgage), Child Tax Credits, free school meals etc etc.

Go to Child Maintenance Options online and work out how much maintenance he will have to pay. It might be tight financially but with good budgeting you should cope.

So far as coping with the children goes, ask their school if they have details of agencies that may be able to help. Oh, if your two children that have autism are statemented, are you claiming Carers Allowance? I think they can sometimes get some Disability Allowance too? Not sure but check it out.

Make appointments to see the CAB, a free consultation with a Solicitor and call Rights of Women (free legal advice). Of course you need to grieve for the future you hoped you might have but, really, it was not going to happen if he stayed if he's abusive towards you anyway.

It is hard on your own but sometimes prefereably than living with an arse (at least for me!). Rather than feeling powerless over your future, start taking control, make contact with the various agencies above and start making the future you want for you and the kids.

Maybe write the letter to your husband, tweek it over the next month or so you have released what you feel rather than a knee jerk reaction to cthe circumstances you now find yourself in and perhaps what you've wanted to say but couldn't. Then burn it and try to let go.

wontletmesignin · 28/01/2014 13:49

I have 4 children, and i too worried how i would manage without my EA ex.
He kept telling me "you could never manage without me" although i questioned it thinking i managed 3 before he came along...i started to believe it.

What did he do to help when he was there?i bet it wasnt much.
Even if it was - without the weight on your shoulders of walking on egg shells,you will be amazed at how much better you can handle things.
It may not feel like that at the beginning, but it does get easier.

You definitely shouldnt email him telling him how sad you are. He is likely to just use that against you at some point in the future.

The best thing you can do,is hold your head up high and be the best you can be.

I know it is hard, but you can do it. As a PP suggested - ask the schools of extra support.
Get as much support as possible.

When i kickwd him out in november,i spoke to the nursery head, one of the main workers (i trusted) at the school, womens aid, social services and the biggest help to me of all was mumsnet!

Beccawoo · 28/01/2014 14:22

I suspect he's been a useless husband and father anyway, you have already been managing and coping as a single parent and you will be fine. I'm sure you have lots of friends and family who will help you out. Good luck x

noslimbody · 28/01/2014 16:03

Arrgh! He has come home early, usually gets home at 6.30ish. He is playing superdad.
The kids are happy at least ....

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Allergictoironing · 28/01/2014 19:21

Probably one of the reasons why he told you he is leaving rather than just walk out of the door one day was to push you into begging him to stay, thereby giving him even more power over you. Plus as CES says above he would enjoy your distress, and as wontletme says he will try to use it against you in some way.

noslimbody · 28/01/2014 20:07

I know that you are all right ofcourse. Just a small part of me, wishes that he would just change and want to do it for the children and I, I just feel heart broken.
I can't believe I still love him
This is all so hard.
I wish he would just leave and stop being around

OP posts:
noslimbody · 01/02/2014 07:25

Ok so now he is constantly invading my space. At first he seemed reasonable and I told him I didn't want him just bursting into the bedroom and disturbing my privacy and he didn't for a week. But as usual he has found a way around it by pretending to do something urgently in the bedroom, because he still keeps majority of his clothes in here. Now he walks in whenever he feels like it, including walking in when I am asleep and waking me when he knows I have been up with non-sleeping two year old.
He has also started standing over me when I am in the kitchen, it is nerve wracking.
For one day he left me along and it was wonderful. I immediately felt much calmer, found it easier to stay calm with the kids, I usually struggle with that and have to give myself mental pep-talks. Now I am all in pieces again. Walking on eggshells. That one day when he actually stayed away from me really was a glimpse of how things can be without him. Everything felt so peaceful
Then.......he said that since his behaviour has now "improved" he would like to try again. I emphatically told him no, I don't think it would work, things are not better for me.
I am just scared that he will not go at all anyway.
I opened a bank account last year without telling him, and he has since found out. Twice this week he has tried to get me to give him my bank account details and think he went through my stuff to look for any information. I have hidden my passport, driving licence, birth certificates, all bank account details, exam certificates etc., and I think he has noticed

OP posts:
noslimbody · 01/02/2014 07:26

Not for a week, he didn't disturb my privacy in the bedroom for a day, more like 12 hours.

OP posts:
noslimbody · 01/02/2014 07:28

Dreading the weekend.

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noslimbody · 01/02/2014 07:56

He says my cooking is shite, yet I was known as a great cook before him. I can't wait to cook anything I like again. He also won't let me buy veg! FFS! I used to eat tons of veg before him.
He won't even let me have clocks. I had one wall clock which he 'accidentally' broke, and I am sure my children have trouble telling time because of this. And mirrors, apparently we only need one mirror in the entire house. And no pictures on the walls, no cushions, etc.
We never get to go anywhere, not even a meal out.
I want him to leave, so I can show the children a normal fucking life.
Arsehole!

OP posts:
ALittleStranger · 01/02/2014 09:05

God I'm so pleased you're rid of him, it sounds like things are going to get sooooooooooooooo much better for you and your DCs.

Get advice on the practical stuff, but largely what will be will be and things are never as bad as you imagine. But seriously I think the emotional freedom is going to outweigh any switch to basics pasta!

3mum · 01/02/2014 11:56

Hi NSB, I'm sure you know that your H is taking up a big chunk of your time and headspace and adding hugely to your stress. On your own, life really will be easier and, as you say, you can lead it on your terms (he sounds a bit odd TBH). When is he going or has he (surprise) backed off from that? The sooner the better for you. I promise, based on my experience of 20 years marriage and divorce and 3 children, it takes far less time than you think possible before you reach the point where you think actually life is far far better without the dickhead about.

You have had some great advice from Iam. At the very least, I suggest you do what she says re practical steps. You also need to start building a support network.

Start talking to your friends. This will help you not to be so isolated and start to give you a life outside. It also puts your H's behaviour into the light of day and diminishes his importance. He is really not that great or significant, you just find it hard to see that because of the dark hole you are in at the moment.

I found that even people I knew only slightly beforehand wanted to help and invited me to things. If you need practical support tell them. IME other women love to help out. It is not an imposition (as long as you don't go mad), we all like to feel that we have enhanced someone else's life.

Longer term, build up a plan to help yourself make more friends and contacts. They don't have to all be BFF, but every positive contact helps. Are you in touch with your local autism outreach centre? They often have events and support groups which are really worth attending. Ask your council special needs team what is available.

Two, do you need extra support with childcare? Are you getting all the free help and nursery time to which you are entitled? (sorry, don't know how old your children are). Talk to your social worker. If you push nicely but firmly, for support, often things start to open up (even if it is just an introduction to another local mum). Check out which local colleges are offering nursery nurse or teacher training courses. Often students will love to get something on their CV by helping out, especially experience with special needs children. Even if you don't feel you can rely on them to have sole charge, it can be a great help just to have another adult in the house who can do some stuff under your direction and again stops you being so isolated.

There will be some crap and lonely times, but there will also be happy and even great times and the longer you are away from the man who drags you down, the more happy and great times there will be. There will come a point when you look back on where you are now and seems like an incredibly old, sad and pointless bit of history. Start making it your history and not your future!

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