I am so very lonely, what can i do.

[keepingthelidon]

Bit of a heartfelt post, didnt really realise i was as lonely as i am, until a fling has come to an end. I shouldnt really be upset about it at all, but its more to do with the fact i liked having someone to do stuff with, who i thought liked me and was thinking about me.

Ive been single for 5 years, Prior to that i was with my ex husband for 3 months ( living with him) and apart for 2.5 years before that.

Basically, ive lived on my own with DD for almost 8 years.

I work, i have friends. I get out socially maybe once or twice a month, but really, thats it. Im stuck in every night. I cant afford babysitters to go out often.

People dont come round in the evening. My only evening contact is the phone or the internet.

Im fed up, and sad, this wasnt what i wanted, it isnt what i want, but i dont know what i can do about it.

Morning op. I'm just off to work but wanted to let you know that things will get better. Through yourself into something you enjoy. I took up sewing and love it. It's taken a couple of years but ten years single and I can say now I'm happy with my life. I have a child too, he's 11 and I have a little more independence and it can only improve. I'm internet dating, having the occasional coffee, not met the one yet but I'm happy I'm trying. You're definitely not alone. I also find pre planning things, having something to look forward to, like a friend round for dinner helps. Hope you have a good day. Try writing everything down too. I find that empties lots if worrying thoughts and helps me identify changes to make.

Thing is, i do all that stuff. I thought i was happy with my life, and now this has happened and its brought to my attention, that im not at all.

I would really like to have a partner.

Ive done internet dating, I was out for dinner with friends just on sunday. Ill have a night out in a few weeks. But its just not the same.

I was talking to people yesterday and they were surprised i felt that way as they all know me as very independent, and say i always do what i want, and seem happy and like i dont need a man. I said i dont, but id like one.

There's plenty of men out there hun. Don't give up, smile lots and be confident when you are out. My brother's single??? Where are you?

I think the only thing you can do is learn to like being alone by doing things that are personally fulfilling for you, and to broaden your social life as well: keep up the the internet dating, social outings when you can, and start inviting people over to yours in the evening.

We all want somebody to love who'll love us back. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of thing we can make happen -- like we can a career change, say, when we find our job unsatisfying.

So the only thing left is to be the best we can be alone, and to keep up the efforts to meet others.

I totally agree with hot and would like to add that it's ok to feel lonely from time to time. Why not! You're on your own and it's hard. But! You're also an amazing woman because you do all these things on your own and things will improve and you will find someone lovely but it's ok to be on your own until that special someone comes along. We can't force it, but it's sure to happen :)

yes, i know all that, and am fine on my own.

But it has been a jolly long time, friends are not the same.

I know there is no easy solution and i know i cant do much more than what im doing, it just feels very very hard sometimes.

It is hard. No getting a way from it. You'll be just fine. Just cut yourself some slack :)