Just found out DP is guarantor for his ex wife's rent

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I've just found a guarantor agreement dating back to 2011 (when they divorced) stating that he will be liable for her rent if she faces financial difficulty. I've always wondered how she managed to get a rental property since she's never worked and I think I suspected that DP might have acted as guarantor and I can see why he would if that was the only way she could get a home (especially as they have kids) but not sure about the financial position this puts US in? She's good with her finances as far as I know but it's in the back of my head now that we're liable for HER rent!! We're hoping to get married next year, our finances are already shared and we already live together.

Should I be concerned or just forget about it?

I am a guarantor for a friend and when i looked into it i was only a guarantor the intial rental period (12 months) after that its not my problem.
So if ex wife has been in same property since 2011 and the initial tenancy agreement was six months or twelve months then i do not believe you will still be liable.

Can't you ask him about it - assuming you did just 'find' it rather than dig it out while having a naughty nose? Glad you see that to do so was a responsible act on his part.

Sounds like you've got a good 'un on that basis alone.

I take it you weren't on the scene in 2011? I would raise it - he might even have forgotten about it. If it's still in force it will, I guess, make your joint assets after marriage vulnerable to her if she suddenly runs off with 6 months' arrears or something. This isn't entirely fair on you. Obviously he WOULD step in if his kids were in danger of losing a roof over their heads, but maybe it's better to approach that as a joint decision you take together if necessary.

Curious why you're asking here?
Instead of just asking your boyfriend.

I think if you pool finance, then everyone should be aware of commitments like this. The commitment itself seems fair (at least for a certain period) in a divorce situation. But if it impacts your finances jointly, you should be informed.

For example, if he wanted to keep his mortgage repayments to x amount to allow for potentially having to pay her rent in future, or wanted to ring fence 6 months rent equivalent savings to have as back up.

He may simply have forgotten he is guarantor. I wouldn't, but I can see someone might.

Why not just ask him?

In my opinion, you have a right to be aware of it where it impacts your joint financial planning, but not to change it.

Just thinking aloud... I left a lot of equity in my old house because STBXH couldn't afford to buy me out, and I didn't want the disruption to my child of two new homes.
I have a legal charge on the property. Part of that states if I cannot work and meet my new mortgage, he has to buy me out. If he were to meet someone new and she move in to my old house (poor woman if so!) I would absolutely think she should be told of that - a possibility it would have to be sold due to my circumstances.
But I guarantee you my ex wouldn't even think to tell her. He doesn't do detail. Or thinking, much! It wouldn't be to hoodwink her - he just wouldn't think about it, let alone think and realise it was relevant!

You are not responsible your dh is and I think under the circumstances this is fair.
If she is looking after her money well you would be pleased he is doing this to ensure his dc have a stable home.
There seems no problem to me, at least you know he'll do it for any dc you and he have together if your relationship breaks down.

Well to be honest, I would feel a little bit odd about this, but I know that would be unreasonable really.

What sort of man would refuse to guarantee his own children's home in case of financial disaster? I would certainly think more highly of him for doing this despite any acrimony between him and his ex, for putting his kids first and foremost.

I think he probably (if he's a decent human being) wants to guarantee the roof over his children's heads!!

If she has three children then I guess it might be hard to earn enough to cover childcare for three (as you mention she has never worked).

If you plan to have a child with him, you should be GLAD that he's not like my x who wouldn't have cared if we were living in a box under a bridge.

OP your boyfriend is guarantor for his childrens home, if I have this right? I apologise if I am wrong. You also sound sound judgemental about her not working, was she a SAHM, were you the OW?

Difficult one I can see both sides of.

As a father whose DC reside primarily with his SAHM XW, I think much more highly of him for doing this. It shows he puts his DC's welfare before any love lost between him and his XW and that he recognises her contribution to family life before they split. good for him.

If you move in with someone who has DC, in my mind that means taking on responsibilities towards their children whether you like it or not. Even with non-resident children, I wouldn't advise anyone to move in with someone with children unless they are prepared to commit to the responsibilities of parenthood, including financial ones. The fact that he (and therefore you) are liable is entirely reasonable IMO.

But if it's still in place, you absolutely should have been told and given the opportunity to decline to involve yourself to that degree.

FWIW, you sound entirely reasonable about this, understanding his motives. I hope you sort it out.

I don't think he has done anything wrong. This is his childrens' house.

I don't think anyone's saying he's done anything wrong, it's just that if the OP is planning to marry him and officially join their finances up she ought to know about any standing obligations or debts he has, just as vice versa.

I think you should butt out quite frankly. You've always wondered how she managed to get a rental property have you? WTAF has that got to do with you?! He's helped to provide his dc and their mother with a home, what a good father and bloke. Tell him your thoughts, I hope he dumps you pronto!

It makes no difference - he was always going to bear the ultimate responsibility for his children having a roof over their head, so this particular piece of paper is irrelevant.

My friend's DH buys his ex wife's parents a new car every 2 years. And still pays all her bills.

Granted he can afford it, but it does grate my mate's carrot a bit.

I'm wondering if I've stepped into a parallel universe?

OP: DP appears to have a financial commitment to his ex I completely understand but was unaware of. I want to know how this affects us if we get married?

Certain posters:

'Are you OW?'
'I hope he dumps you'
'It's none of your business'.

And yet, most threads about finances I read on here start from a point of:

'You need to know / there shouldn't be secrets'
'It's not his money it's household money' etc.

So which is it? Does OP have a right to understand what their household commitments would be upon marriage or does that not apply when the commitment is a first family?

Not sure why OP is getting stick to be fair, unless there's backstory I don't know.

OP it does sound like the arrangement was reasonable at the time, which you clearly recognise, but yes, surely it's only sensible to fully understand what commitments all parties are taking on if the formally mingle their finances via marriage.

See, despite the fact that I think the OP should have no issue at all with the fact that her DP is a guarantor for the rent on his DC's home, I think she has every right to expect him to tell her about it.

Shared finances is a big deal. There are many professions in which a good credit rating is essential and bankruptcy still causes many difficulties despite it's much shorter length these days. It doesn't matter how careful you are with money, if your finances are shared, one person's downfall can severely trash your own credit rating. In this case it doesn't seems like it would apply, but if the OP's DP became liable for his XW's rent and couldn't afford it because of a downturn in his own income, the OP could end up really suffering. She could end up taking on debts just to eat because her DP couldn't afford it, and before you know it...

No way would I tie up my finances with anyone without full disclosure and a look at their credit rating. I would be livid had I been lied to by omission unless it was a genuine oversight. Which it may well be this far down the line and because XW has never claimed from OP's DP. Or it may have expired completely.

OP you need to chat to your DP about this.

the OPs DP sounds like a decent person for acting as guarantor. but I don't blame the OP for being concerned about how it affects her - because, OP, (1) you and your DP need to think about practically how you would deal with paying the rent, should the guarantee ever be called upon (2) you need to make sure there are no other surprises for you out there with your DP.

Of course Op needs an explanation.
As others have said, every other Mn thread says that there shouldn't be any secrets in a joint account- style marriage.

Mn is weird sometimes !!

The only time it becomes any of the OP's business whatsoever is if the ex defaults on the rent. She should know only in a "this is what is happening" kind of way. Her DP is obligated to provide for his children, he and his ex have determined the way this is to be done. OP has no say whatsoever in that decision. Agree she should be informed to allow her full awareness when making financial decisions with her DP.

It's the "always wondering" about the ex's financial situation that got my back up. The ex's financial situation has precisely zero to do with OP.

It is because there is a tiny possibility that the OP will have been the OW in which case the wrath of MN will be poured forth upon her.

Sparkly Jesus, calm down love!

Totally calm thanks .

I didn't occur to me that she may have been OW. Doesn't matter one way or the other really does it?