please help - sexting

[kitkatface]

please dont judge me as im in a terrible state.
i recently started a new job in a new city where i dont know many people and although i am in a relationship it has been really tough over the last few months and i have struggled to stay with my partner who often works away from home
my new boss started sexting me a few weeks ago and i responded, glad for a bit of attention and flattery. trouble is, hes married with a little baby girl.
another issues is that people at work think im a lot younger than i actually am (i have been vague about my age as im generally a very private person), including probably my boss who is 8 years younger than me (though he probably doesnt realise it).
i dont know what to do, hes pushing for more than texts and im so tempted as i am so unhappy but i know it is the wrong thing to do

to be honest, it has crossed my mind that he may have done this before/doing this currently to other women
everyone is right, i will try and stop responding to him. iam serious about my job too despite what it may seem like

If people you hardly know have been making vague, 'in jest' comments then they know what's going on. Chances are they also know what a seasoned sleaze he is.

Be prepared OP.... when you reject this guy he may make your life unpleasant. Hell hath no fury and all that... Is there an HR department in your company? Could be worth giving them the heads up.

" i will try and stop responding to him"

Do. Or do not. There is no try ... Yoda - Empire Strikes Back.

You've had some good advice, I hope you listen to it.

I'm baffled as to why you mentioned the age thing twice, it's a complete non-issue. Although I suspect part of what is going on is you feel flattered at the idea that you've "passed" as someone younger when you feel old, unsexy and boring.

Lots of affairs have a fantasy element but the only thing this man is offering you is a fantasy. It's all weekends away and superficial contact. This isn't genuine attraction, sparking off each other in the office. This is an odd, manipulative man who has spotted the slightly lost new target in the office.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Show him you're not as pathetic and vulnerable as he obviously thinks you are.

okay - i WILL stop responding to him. thank you, you have no idea how grateful i am for the advice

You say you are in a terrible state. I bet he isn't. He has probably done this before with other new people and is adept at it all, loves the power/intrigue etc. He is at home now probably smiling and smug at having his ego tickled and boosted by the new girl. Keep your dignity, don't reply any more.

He is probably cuddling up to his wife and baby on the sofa as we speak with a nice roast in the oven. You are playing a very dangerous game which I can assure you will probably have one outcome, which is to blow your life apart.

I'm sorry, but some people can smell unhappiness and desperation and they hone in on the vulnerable. Try and get some help for your relationship with your partner and/or help from a GP. Sounds like you need support, but the right kind.

and yes, i do believe part of it IS that it is flattering for a younger man to give me attention, hence the age references, this is the 1st time in my life it has been an issue so...

we all have each others phone numbers at work - started out just friendly texts about 'have a good weekend' and escalated from there.

It could be worth, over coffee at the office, mentioning it to a co-worker that you get a few 'odd' texts from this guy. 'Anything I should know about him?'.... sort of inquiry. If he doesn't try this with others I'd be amazed.

Is he THE boss, i.e., the owner of the company? Or is he a manager and has superiors? I ask because if he tries to make life difficult at work or even try and drive you out, you might need to keep those texts.

no hes my line manager - its a massive international company and he just manages our small branch

Replying to his sexts is just encouraging him. I doubt he cares about you or your feelings and because his partner is none the wiser he has nothing to lose

He has too much to lose then (professionally and personally) to cause you any grief should you decide that you want it to stop. I'd still keep the texts though just in case he's thick and thinks he can take the piss.

Avoid like the plague ! Sounds like a sleaze with his brain in his pants, It can only bring negative things and will effect your employment.

On another note, I feel sorry for the mother of his child eek.

What a sad life he must lead if he has to do this to get his kicks. If you don't want to stoop to sewer level then you simply don't answer his texts.

i am currently being strong and not responding to his texts but now he is probing me as to why im not answering and pushing for a reason.

He's not entitled to a reason.

If he corners you at work, just say you don't want anything other than a professional relationship from now on.

You don't have to explain yourself to him. He'll give up soon enough if he's not getting anywhere. ANY response will feed his ego.

Just tell him you're flattered but you're both in relationships so it must stop. And just keep repeating it. That saves his ego as he can believe that you would find him irresistible were he not married....