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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

is it me??? sorry very,very long!!

4 replies

lilybird · 31/07/2006 14:43

about 3 years ago,i had an incident with one of our friends partner's. we were at a wedding,and she started to have a go at me saying when she first met me she thought i was a stuck up so & so. (i can't remember our first meeting!) she proceeded to slag me off to my face in front of a couple of friends. she was either very drunk or maybe 'on something' it now transpires!
the next day my dh went to confront her,she couldn't remember the incident, to cut a long story short,she grovelled and i forgave her.
a few months later her partner was sent to prison, i did what any friend would do,looked after her dd,rang her etc....and we were back on friendly terms or so i thought..........
at a recent christening,she made some comment about what was i doing there,and then ignored me the whole time,she hasn't spoke to me since and we went to a wedding last night and it was very uncomfortable,she totally blanked me. she is expecting her second baby on wednesday,so don't want to contfront her at this time, but it was made quite obvious last nite she was bad mouthing me to anyone who would listen! i feel really upset about the whole thing,but dh says i shouldn't be bothered as she's not a very nice person.

OP posts:
compo · 31/07/2006 14:47

I think your dh is right. Is it possible to just avoid her? She doesn't sound like a friend worth having.

lilybird · 31/07/2006 14:53

it's gonna be hard to aviod her,we've got another wedding in a few weeks and she'll be there.
we've got alot a mutual friends,but i think she has been seeing alot of them and no doubt slagging me off!
dh said he wouldn't go out on the baby headwetting session this weekend but then that's not being fair on her partner,who is lovely!???

OP posts:
Daisyb00 · 01/08/2006 19:38

Hi LB
Sorry you're having to put up with this. (I've been slated in public too recently and I know just how horrible it is).
She sounds as if she's jealous of you for some reason - maybe it's because her dp has been away in prison while you have a strong relationship with your dh, or even jealous that you were in a position where you could offer help and she needed to accept it or something?
If she's constantly moaning about you to mutual friends, I'm sure they're intelligent enough to judge for themselves what you're both really like; i.e that she has 'issues' and you are the innocent party in all this.
I suppose you just have to try to rise above it all, but it's not easy as it really hurts when you know somebody's saying something about you. Maybe you can keep in mind that ultimately she's getting drunk and embarrassing herself at most functions you attend and therefore is going to get a reputation sooner rather than later!
You could always have a quiet word with her to ask her what she's upset about, but she doesn't sound like she's going to be very honest and frankly I doubt that she really is worth it.
Good luck!

lilybird · 03/08/2006 18:18

thank you daisyBOO!
after mulling over it for the last couple of days,i've calmed down alot.
i didn't my dh to fall out with her dp, but i don't think they will.
it's just a shame cos i thought we were friends & we are both newcomers to the area we live in.
it's just gonna be very very awkward when in the company of mutual friends.

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