Advice Needed Thanks (Its Lng)

[happy2talk]

I Just need some thought on my situation as feeling a bit down just now thanks. Married 10 years 2 kids. For first 5/6 years marraige was hell we were both young. No cheating but money worries, drink, recreational drugs (him). After birth of ds1 things got worse but we were still in love. I went onto internet a flirted with few guys i then told dh this to hurt him, i guess. I then fell pregnant with DS2. DH was still battling with addictions and i was at lowest point ever. He suggested abortion but I wouldnt. I said cope without him and didnt love him anymore. I then asked him to leave. I was 14 wks. He came to see me and DS1 everyday and came back after 13 nights. Things were better but not great. 2 weeks after after birth of DS2 in a very heated argument he told me a had spent this time with another female. Gutted!!! I left for a while but came bac. We talked things through and he didnt actually sleep with this girl 19. I am 30. Although she wanted to he couldnt. this has since been confirmed by her. This was over 2 years ago. after this i was extremly ill. still am a little.we had counselling and he pleaded to stay syaing he done it to hurt me. That worked.!! since then he stopped drugs, settled in job, has shown nothing but remorse for hurting me and loves our 2 boys so much. things are so much better. but i still have so much pain. any help advice or thought shared would be great. Sorry about typing but i havent spoke about this and am shaking.. thanks

bump pls view and opinions fine

Why don't you go and have some councelling for you? You need a bit of confidence in yourself and getting things straight in your head may help you.

It's a cliche, but it's going to take time to get over it. He did this to you when you were both in a very bad place - he had addiction issues etc. When you left him it really hutr his pride and he may have chased this girl to prove to himself that he still 'had it'.
It's not going to be easy to forgive & forget what he did, but think about how much he's tried over the last 2 years, how much he obviously loves you and your boys.
As my nan used to say...keep looking forward. When you keep looking backwards, you'll fall on your arse ((((HUGS)))))

You BOTH did things to hurt each other, deliberately or otherwise. Counselling will definately help you settle your mind.

thanks guys. i probably do need some counselling myself. I did speak to doc about this but she suggested anti-depressants which i know i dont need. i know whats wrong and why i am down. i just cant seem to stop thinking about it. but like Iklboos nan says i am know being told by ppl i try to speak to "stop looking back". thanks for listening

I agree with others you could get some real help talking this through with someone unconnected. He sounds like he made a mistake and really loves you and your boys. Don't let the past get in the way of your future.