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Relationships

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Original poster

What's the best thing about being married?

51 replies

confettiandcake · 25/01/2014 19:41

And why did you want to do it in the first place?

Not married myself but considering it. Been contemplating what I want in life and trying to decide if it could work for me.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 25/01/2014 19:41

The legal financial security...

Sorry!

Clargo55 · 25/01/2014 19:42

Same as Random. We wouldn't of bothered otherwise.

DuckworthLewis · 25/01/2014 19:45

As above

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 25/01/2014 19:46

Do you mean being in a long term/lifetime relationship in general or actually being married as opposed to living together forever?

For the first, it's the companionship and company.

For the second, it's the tax breaks we get where we live But emotionally, the big difference for me is that I feel like I can believe the "I want to be with you forever" because it's been thought through and considered and he's made a stand to effectively say/confirm that. Not everyone would need that as a confirmation but it made a difference to me :)

tilliebob · 25/01/2014 19:49

Being married to my best mate. Having a secure place in which to bring children into. Being able to call myself his wife. Having the same name as him.

I dunno, I must have been a right dewy eyed youngster when I got married as the legal/financial thing was never a factor. Still isn't really. I'll stop now cos I could get really mushy .

MolotovCocktail · 25/01/2014 19:51

I'm completely in love with him. Although we didn't need to get married in terms of solidifying anything, the fact that we are married somehow signifies legitimacy; that we are serious. That we mean it.

5 years on (and almost 14 years together) I still love calling him "my husband". I gaze happily at my wedding &engagement ring at least once a day

GoodnessMeNow · 25/01/2014 19:52

I'm with tilliebob, love, security, my sense of identity as a wife, mother, etc. I fully understand not everyone feels this way about marriage but I made a lifelong promise to the most important person in the world to me, and he to I. To me thats amazing. And all the better when we got to add two beautiful children to the mix.

HelpfulChap · 25/01/2014 19:54

Spending almost 3.5 decades (so far) with the person you love. Best thing I ever did.

tilliebob · 25/01/2014 19:57

Exactly. We were together for 7 years, got married at 22 and are 21 years married this summer. I can't imagine us not being together and love looking back on our memories and thinking about where the next 21 years will take us.

WallyBantersJunkBox · 25/01/2014 19:57

I got a really cheap army house for 4 years and they paid for us to move around with all the postings.

It was the only way to be recognized as an important part of DH's life - partners and mothers of children just don't cut it in the Army.

I've always been the major breadwinner so financial security was never important to me.

How romantic does that sound!

nkf · 25/01/2014 19:58

Easier to negotiate arrangements in the event of a divorce. Sorry.

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 25/01/2014 19:59

Legal and financial probably wouldn't have been a factor had we lived in UK and I didn't have DC from a previous relationship! Fact is we're skint, in a foreign country and need all of the extra money we can get, plus it's incredibly useful for DH to have legal responsibility for DS as his dad is totally absent.

blueshoes · 25/01/2014 20:23

To be in a socio-legal construct which offers security for me to merge my finances with my dh for the joint purpose of raising a family. I would never have children with a man I was not married to. Seeing the way our finances are now inextricably intertwined and almost impossible to unravel, I am glad we are married. I think we have both put in a lot of each other into the relationship and the enterprise that is our family unit. Being married allows us to contribute freely without holding back.

In Anglo-Saxon terms, marriage is all singing and all dancing. To me, marriage is about business, as much as love.

Digestive28 · 25/01/2014 20:33

Knowing that you have made the commitment to continue to share your life with someone even though you have no idea what the future may hold. So no matter what life throws at you, good and bad, you agree to be with that person.
A big commitment in itself and enough for many but for me it was the fact you then make this after much thought and in front of family and friends. My favourite part of our service was when the vicar asks the congregation if they will support you as a couple throughout your marriage (the challenges and joys) and they respond "I will". Just something lovely about that for me.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 25/01/2014 20:36

Someone to wash up and take the bins out...cant think of anything else.

MerylStrop · 25/01/2014 20:38

you've got the hell of organising the wedding behind you

people stop nagging you about when you're going to get married

Olivegirl · 25/01/2014 20:39

Married my best friend 20 years ago .... Still my best friend ..you just know

MrsBungle · 25/01/2014 20:41

The legal and financial stuff didn't really occur to us but clearly that is a huge benefit.

We just wanted the ultimate commitment to each other.

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs · 25/01/2014 20:51

Not even questioning "will this/won't this work" or "wonder if we will still be together in x years time" etc. We are each other's family. We've become one flesh, as the saying goes. And it's brilliant.

MyPrettyToes · 25/01/2014 20:59

We just wanted the ultimate commitment to each other.

I agree with this.

To me marriage is a commitment my husband and I made to one another regardless of whether or not we were going to have children. Regardless of what the financial and legal benefits were. We did it privately, intimately without fanfare and that is what our marriage is about, the two of us.

We were together for many years before we had children - we were told we couldn't have any (my infertility issues). And we will be together many years after our children have left home and are making their own family units.

skrumle · 25/01/2014 21:03

someone on my side.

i don't have any of the traditional stuff - didn't change my name, don't normally wear my ring, etc but getting married was still something i wanted if i was going to have that kind of relationship with someone.

SirChenjin · 25/01/2014 21:04

The romantic side of it as others have said - the 'ultimate commitment' to the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, as opposed to 'just' living together. Building a relationship together as a married couple, and then having kids within that stability.

The practical side of it - tying up all the legal aspects in one fell swoop without having to make sure that all the ts were crossed.

havewinewilltravel · 25/01/2014 21:05

^ wss
We've been married 18 years and are still best friends. Neither of us can imagine being with anyone else or, indeed, being without each other.
Financial and legal benefits didn't come into it - we knew we wanted to be together and were (and still are) committed to making it work.
There are ups and downs, but we're in it together for the long haul.

SailingToByzantium · 25/01/2014 21:22

You get to be miserable and happy at the same time, live longer and get to eat ice cream in bed...

Sparrowlegs248 · 25/01/2014 21:34

We have been together for 12 yrs but only married last year, and both of us feel that it HAS made a difference. Maybe it shouldn't have but it did. Our wedding day was fabulous, we were both very emotional! I love calling him my husband. He is currently supporting me through a very difficult time, which no doubt he would have done anyway but its just wonderful that my husband is there for me when i need him most. I haven't considered the financial side but we would like to start a family and it matters to us both that we are married first.

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