Valentines cards for children?

[RedchairBluechair]

I’m a dad with 2 daughters, 14 and 16. I’ve always given them Valentine’s Day cards and little gifts, and they’ve known it was me. When they were younger they didn’t of course appreciate the difference between the different types of love.

Now they are the age they are at, and in fact the older one has a boyfriend, and I am wondering should I continue to give them cards. I’d like to do so, they are teenagers and it has become more difficult for them to accept open affection from me, and it’s a way of showing I appreciate them. I am divorced and they don’t live with me, but they stay with me and we have plenty of other contact.

What do you think?

If you treat them as a sign of love from you, marked as such, then yes. Otherwise an emphatic 'no'.

Thinking about it though - I wouldn't do it. You have all the days of the year to show your leave and appreciation for your children. Valentine's Day is more about 'romantic love' and that's how it's perceived. I know that some parents have incorporated it into their 'style' but it's just pandering to the needless ramping up of what is just an ordinary day.

You could write them both a short letter or a note perhaps to say a few nice words and let them know that you're thinking of them.

See of you can find a non lovey dovey type one.

Maybe like: www.moonpig.com/uk/Gallery/?sf1=ProductCategory&sv1=Cards&sf2=Keyword&sv2=Valentines%20dad

You can add a photo of you and your daughter in the word. Change the text to say something loving but dad like.

I'd just ask them! They might be gutted not to get one if it's become a tradition, or they might be at an age where it's starting to feel silly. They'll tell you.

My dad did this till I was around 18/19, I think it's a nice thing to do.

I would probably say they're getting too old for it. Valentines is for romantic love...

You can show them you love them in lots of ways, lots of other days to do it on too. The next time you see them just take them an 'out of the blue' pressie.

I'm from the states where Valentines day is for everyone not just lovers. We have also a 'sweetest day' in the Midwest that is more for romantic love.

I merchandise greeting cards and at least here there are many cards that are from fathers to daughters that aren't romantic. However if you cannot find those, I love the idea of the letter or note this year since they might be expecting something.

In the future though I would do what you are doing but on a non-romantic day...like the first day of spring or something. That way you could continue your tradition of showing that you love and appreciate them but on a less romantic day. Hope that helps.

I think it's lovely you do that, and your daughters probably see it as a lovely tradition they would miss if you stopped - like in future years when they might be nursing broken hearts they might think 'oh well at least I know I'll always get a card from dad'!

I think its a nice thing to do. I think these days you can get 'dadlike' cards, Im sure Ive seen them somewhere. Its your family tradition, keep it going as long as you can. Why not.

I used to send them to my dad until I was about 15. I think it depends what you have grown up with. I would be sensitive to what they want, maybe ask them.

Omg how lovely are you? Send them their cards!

Depends on your relationship. My mum bought me a sweet stuffed toy once for valentines day. I was a teenager. And relatively mature, too. I still appreciated it. I always buy her a card and/or flowers now.
I wouldn't have liked it if my dad bought me a card cus we aren't as close.

My dad sent me valentines cards when I was younger, up to about 24, and I loved it. I now send my parents a bouquet of red roses on Valentines Day! Who says it has to be about romantic love, it's all a Hallmark day anyway, why not make it whatever you like!

I think you sound absolutely lovely and I am sure your girls know the difference between your love for them and romantic love. I think you should be guided by their reaction when you give them their cards and gifts. I wish all men were as thoughtful as you :)

My dad still sends me a card and I'm 40! It's always a cutesy style and I love it.

Yeah why not send one, They will know it is from you but they will still love it. Doesn't have to be lovey dovey - the 'purple ronnie' ones are silly fun with daft rhymes.

You could get them a non-valentines valentines card... write a poem or song lyrics in the card, and perhaps get them something like a charm bracelet this year and add a charm every valentines day.

You are the first man they loved and I think its lovely that you still want to carry on with the tradition.

I am a woman with a few years under my belt and I get an "anonymous" Valentines card from my mother every year. Clearly her handwriting, lots of jokes about the postman getting a bad back from carrying all our cards

Clearly it's about familial love and not romantic love, but it's still nice.
We do this with the children now as well.

Sorry to disagree with you all, but to me, this seems very wrong. Valentine's Day is all about romantic love, and completely inappropriate between father and daughter.

Perhaps we need a "Daughter's Day" (and a "Son's Day too) similar to Mother's Day?

Ask them!
Honestly, just ask them if they still feel ok about receiving a card from you now they're older. If they say yes then fabulous, keep them coming but if they say no then at least you won't have the uncertainty in the days running up to it.
Anyway, Valentine's day has only been celebrated as a day of love here quite recently, it used to be St Gregory's day iirc. Valentine is traditionally a spring saint, not romantic love - that was Saint Anthony.

Personally I find it a bit boak.

But if you've always done it they will be sad if you stop.

Just be careful with the kind of card that you pick.

I think it sounds lovely!

I always send something (a card, pic of dcs, token gift) to my mum on valentines, since my dad died. My sister sends her one from mums dog! I think we do it because it must be a hard day when you no longer have the love of your life.

Imagine in the future, say one of your dd has split up with a bf, is single, feels a bit crap about it and gets a valentine from her dad to remind her she is loved. This will mean so much to her.

I think I might start doing it for my kids actually, no harm in reminding someone they are loved

I don't think it matters either way. Clearly lots of people make valentines day about family love and that's fine.

On the other hand, I think it's nice to have a special day for romantic love in the same way you have special mother's and father's days for family love.

I would have been creeped out if my dad had sent me a card. To me valentines day is about romantic love.

but a small token and a hand written letter would have been lovely. I think you cant beat a hand written letter, it feels so much more personal and caring.