should i get back with my husband

[mrsg3123]

Split with my husband 2 days ago don't know whether to try and sort things .i always felt very alone in relationship we have 3 children under six witch left me exhausted practicly bringing them up on my own .the kids havnt even noticed he's gone should I try and sort thongs before they realize .i do miss him and don't think I could see him moving on but everything seems less stressful without him please some advice

What do you want?

What did/do you get out of the relationship?

TBH you don't sound keen on getting back together.

I want to be happy.he was my best friend just feel alone

Have a rotten tooth pulled and you'll miss it for a while... there's a tooth-shaped hole that you're conscious of, but you don't miss the pain.

Two days in and, if you're less stressed, I'm guessing that you're not really missing him. Just the man-shaped hole he's left behind.

Give it a while longer to consider the situation - there'd be nothing worse than apart/together/apart again scenario if you don't see this initial separation (which was for apparently good reasons) through. It'll give your husband time to consider the consequences of his earlier behaviour, too.

I hope everything works out for you.

Give it a while longer to consider the situation - there'd be nothing worse than apart/together/apart again scenario if you don't see this initial separation (which was for apparently good reasons) through. It'll give your husband time to consider the consequences of his earlier behaviour, too.

I hope everything works out for you.

What is it about him that is leading you to consider taking him back?

I thought we was happy told him to leave and he actually did I think I'm in shock he must of wanted to go he's been putting his friends and his life first for a while .iwas just convenient I think its hard though been together over ten years feel lost but don't know if I'm better without him

(so profound I said it twice!)

You say it's less stressful without him.

I suggest you think about why. And that perhaps will tell you if you're better off without him.

I love him

Tell someone to leave and you can't be surprised if they call your bluff. Cave now & beg him to come back and, if he does (which isn't a given), things will be much worse. This is a time to stay strong.

Thank you for advise realy helpful

He's supposed to be your husband and the father of your children as well as your best friend. Doesn't sound as though he's been delivering on the husband and father bit. Give it another week and see how you feel. Or see how long it takes him to get in touch with you.

Give it longer. Two days is nothing. Get through the shock and sadness and I think you'll be surprised how easy and great life is
Good luck x

Thanks

I don't agree with everyone else...sorry. I think that marriage is a serious thing, especially with kids, and if there's even a doubt in your mind about whether you should try and work it out - you need to at least attempt it.

I would take a few days alone maybe...just to show you mean business..and use the time to write out all the reasons you are unhappy, then meet with him to ask him to meet your needs.

I'd at least like me be sure I have tried everything before giving up. Especially if you day you love him. People can change and work on things if they are both willing to try

Day three he's still not tried to make things up do you think he's waiting for me to no messages or nothing I'm worried he's out living a single life and this is really the end

Sorry you are suffering.

It sounds as though you felt he had checked out so asked him to go, he went and you are now panicing you have driven him off.

But the thing is, if he'd been acting single for a while you just formalised it, he was the one who started it.

You are less stressed without him, you think he is happier as well. It sounds as though if this is the end it's not too bad a thing.

You say he is your best friend. I'm sorry to say he isn't acting as though you are his best friend.

Stay strong on this, if you run after him now it is as good as saying he can walk all over you.

What is the money situation? There may be practical things you need to start putting in place to safeguard you and the kids. If he can walk away from his emotional and practical responsibilities so easily i would be worried he thinks he can walk away from his financial responsibilities too.

What do I do now he's controlled my life for so many years I'm lost

You say you have always felt alone in this relationship and have brought the DCs up practically single-handed yet later say he was your best friend. That's a bit muddled.

I don't think he is sitting waiting to hear from you more likely he is just thinking of himself. Do you know where he went? Have you got money?

www.maypole.org.uk/ This website might be of help.

I would leave it until Wednesday and then contact him. Why shouldn't he have the older children every other weekend, starting next weekend. Let him know what time he can pick them up etc, and then drop them back. You need space to work through all that has happened.

"What do I do now he's controlled my life for so many years I'm lost"

Two days is nothing in the great scheme of things and if he was indeed as controlling you probably feel all over the place for good reason.

The above that you wrote is also a very good reason never to take such a person back. Your children do not seem to miss him at all. Decent and kind people do not control others, he was never your best friend and you were convenient to him.

What lead to the arguement which resulted in you telling him to leave?

What was daily life really like living with him?

The speed of him leaving has probably left you shocked and paniced and unable to think clearly.

Think back to how xmas / new year was - was it fun? Enjoyable? Be honest with yourself.

Why did you ask him to leave?

I always came last ,just looked on his Facebook and says he's single and its 80% women no pics of me and his kids our wedding pics on there bit cropped so its just him and looks like he's at a different wedding its like a kick in the teeth like past 11 years was a lye no wonder he didn't want me to have a account

That's a pretty public declaration. Whose benefit is that for I wonder. If you haven't already told your family and friends they will soon see.

Apols if I've double posted, seem to be having trouble posting.