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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU ? And relationship wise what's apping?

8 replies

worley · 24/01/2014 17:40

Ok.. I have the ex dp staying with me for a while due to him leaving his gf and he had no where else to stay for a while till he sorts things out (we've split up for years but he is my dc dad and we still are civil to each other.. Odd situation I know)

Anyway, after splitting with gf he joined a dating site whereupon he had been chatting / what's apping a lady he met on there. Before they went on a date he has decided to get back with his ex gf. He says he has told this lady from dating site that he no longer looking for anything. Thy still met up for a drink and a chat. They are still chatting on what's app. He has not told his gf about this lady and won't be either as he says she wouldn't like it. (Wonder why!! Hmm

Now.. I have said he needs to stop any contact with this lady. He says theres nothing in it just friendly chat and she knows he's not looking for a relationship.

I've told him he is encouraging her by replying to her messages and it needs to stop. He thinks it's fine..

If i was his gf I would be fuming he was doing this. Is it just me or would you not be happy with this either ? I've told him it's cheating but as he's told her there's nothing in it he considers it to be a like a colleague texting and chatting..

However.. He met her on a dating site. I think she thinks there may be something in it he's replying to her messages. She may not.. But would you repeatedly keep up contact with a man you met on a dating site and then told you he's getting back with his gf?
I wouldn't..
But I'm mn trained now :)

This is long sorry, just wondering who's right?
I think me but I've been known to be wrong!

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 24/01/2014 17:43

I think you should stay out of it, it's nothing to do with you.

Hoppinggreen · 24/01/2014 17:45

If you were his girlfriend?? You aren't
It's not really anything to so with you, it's nt affecting you in the slightest.
If you are amicable and just friends then his love life really isn't any of your business.
You sund a bit too involved and could end up getting hurt

OneForEachHand · 24/01/2014 17:47

Yes you are right, he shouldn't be talking to this 'OW'.

However, I've got to agree with fairenuff - it's really none of your business so let him get on with it.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/01/2014 17:53

What are you, his mother? Really.... stay well out of it.

worley · 24/01/2014 19:52

No of course I'm not his mother! But I don't think he should be talking to someone he met on a dating site when he's got back with his gf. But if this is acceptable to others then fair enough. He's defending doing it when I wouldn't be happy about it if it my bf was chatting to someone else he'd met in a dating site.
I cant stay out of it when he's living with me at the moment and we're talking about it

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 24/01/2014 20:08

Well if you're talking about it and he asks for your opinion, then you should feel free to give it, but if its more that he's just telling you stuff without actively asking what you think - then best to keep your thoughts to yourself I reckon. He's a grown man, he's your ex, and relationship-wise he's free to do whatever he wants. Don't get involved - you risk upsetting your civil relationship.

ThinkFirst · 24/01/2014 20:19

You say you can't stay out of it, but you can. You've told him what you think, so now tell him it's totally up to him what he does regardless of what you think and to stop talking to you about it.

Lovingfreedom · 24/01/2014 21:17

Stop bailing him out and taking so much interest in him is my advice.

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