DD has cancer. DH having affair. What to do?

[BakedBeanJuice]

Posting on behalf of a friend. Married 8 Years , two DC's aged 8 and 4 the youngest has a form of cancer. Her Dh recently said he has realised he doesn't love her and wants to separate. Behaviour showed all the signs of affair but she has only just tonight found proof by snooping (found emails from other woman). What should she do?

She has photographed all the incriminating emails. She hopes to get an appointment with a solicitor ASAP tomorrow. She's going to TRY not to confront him. Told her to photocopy his payslips. What else?

Any financial advice? She had to give up work to care for her DD and has also been on antidepressants. The doctor signed her off with a stress related illness so she could get benefits to help out as they were struggling without her income. Could he use this 'stress related illness' against her if it came to any custody battles?

I'm devastated for her. They've had the year from hell with DD's illness but I never thought this of him.

Any advice?

I think it's hard to know how that money would be regarded. My XH took money clearly earmarked for the kids from me and got away with it despite us going to court.

As has been said previously if you can make an agreement without going to court it's best. Of course this isn't always possible.

In England the inheritance would also be considered his- but it would still be taken into account when their assets are divided.

Thank you for all the advice, very helpful. I'm so sad and angry for her.

What if she put back 5K of the money?

What if she put back 5K of the money

The short answer is that she needs proper legal advice. The inheritance is his but first priority in any financial settlement is to meet the reasonable needs of all parties. If it is possible to achieve that without dipping into the inheritance he may get to keep all of it (which in this case would mean that her settlement would be reduced by £10k). However if there isn't enough money to go round without dipping into the settlement she will be awarded some of it.

The other issue is behaviour. The courts generally don't take behaviour into account when arriving at a financial settlement. However financial misconduct during the divorce process such as attempting to hide assets can result in a reduced settlement for the party involved. On its own this may not be enough to affect the outcome but it is difficult to be sure without being in possession of all the facts.

If I was her I would keep the £10k if court want to consider it in split of equity then do be it. But I would want legal advice too.