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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Domineering father- advice needed

15 replies

pinkfit · 30/07/2006 21:34

Father has been heavy handed, domineering all my life, but I don't want my children suffering the way I did (and still do). Yesterday dd1 said she needed the toilet, but he continued to distract her with a game. DH asked her if she needed and she then said no as she was enjoying playing. Two weeks ago DH and I went away for one night. My mum and dad looked after kids. DD1 had several accidents- wetting her pants the following week when she has been dry for literally months. I can't help thinking that my dad has something to do with this.

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkfit · 30/07/2006 22:16

what do people think?

OP posts:
Beauregard · 30/07/2006 22:19

Can you talk to your mum about it?

hairymclary · 30/07/2006 22:20

I think that maybe you need to talk to him about it.

southeastastra · 30/07/2006 22:28

don't leave them overnight yet? how old are they?

Original poster
pinkfit · 30/07/2006 22:39

There's no point talking to mum about it- she wont say a word against him and I can't talk to him about it either- I am afraid of standing up to him. My kids are 3 and 1 and we've left them overnight twice (for one night).

OP posts:
southeastastra · 30/07/2006 23:10

trust your instincts, they are very little and sound like they need to get used to being with him a bit more

warthog · 30/07/2006 23:11

If at all possible, I wouldn't leave them overnight. Does sound like there's a connection to me. Does she enjoy the time she spends there, or do you think she feels rail-roaded?

edam · 30/07/2006 23:29

Sounds as if he's playing power games with the kids - I mean, who ignores a child who says she needs the loo and actively distracts her with something else? Wierd.

If you are too downtrodden to stand up to him, then you'll just have to avoid him. Don't let them have your dds overnight.

saadia · 30/07/2006 23:30

agree with edam (again).

edam · 30/07/2006 23:35

Hey Saadia, that could go to my head, you know!

saadia · 30/07/2006 23:37

lol edam

AttilaTheMeerkat · 31/07/2006 07:13

pinkfit

I would not leave your children overnight with these people. They are not going to change their behaviours just because they are now grandparents.
They will continue to act as they have done towards your good self and others.

I hope I am not speaking out of turn here but it sounds like your Mother has become completely downtrodden by him as well over the years hence her behaviour.

What does your DH think of their behaviour and have you discussed them with him. Can his parents for instance play any part in having them overnight if needbe?.

1Baby1Bump · 31/07/2006 07:30

agree with edam too- lmao!

lulabelle · 31/07/2006 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mylittlepony · 02/08/2006 19:38

Sadly, he sounds like my father who is a complete power freak (you may like to search my posts). I've never left my children with my parents even for an hour for just this reason. I know that I can't rely on my mother to stand up for them, she didn't, and still doesn't stand up for me. If you have any doubts about the way your parents will look after your children then you really can't leave them there.

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