I am an only child, my parents are divorced. My mum was diagnosed with MS when I was little. She is now partially sighted, with poor mobility and hearing loss. Life isn't easy for her but she is making my life hell.
I am married with children, one of whom has severe autism. Life can be really tough, surviving on little sleep. We both work and have little support.
My mum lives away from us about 40 miles or so. She is a compulsive hoarder and the house has really slipped into chaos. Most of my holidays last year were spent trying to clean, clear out and make safe but it is undone in a matter of days. I have contacted social services, declutterers, cleaners, support agencies and put in place services. However they have all failed because she has been rude or sacked them. She has blamed me for things. I paid her credit card bill for years and when I said I could no longer do it (maternity) she told the credit card company it was my fault she couldn't pay the bill. She has told psychiatrists that the house is a mess because it's my stuff that I haven't collected....I have never lived there. She has said some shocking things over the years., is very crude, just nasty.
I can't take it anymore. The rest of my family have all but disowned her. She has no friends. Now she is talking about moving closer which of course I will have to sort out. I can't think of anything worse. My dad says to walk away but guilt would get me. Yet I feel I am unable to live my life constantly on tenterhooks that she is going to phone and rant.
I just don't know what to do. She is so manipulative but she does need help and I feel I cannot abandon her. has anyone faced similar, do you just grin and bear? My son needs 24hr supervision, I feel I have enough to deal with and want to be enjoying my children, not worrying about someone who just throws it back at you when you try to help.
My father-in-law is also terminally ill. It is such a fraught time.