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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New partner. Advice please

9 replies

AmandaAmanda · 22/01/2014 19:20

Dear Ladies. Advice needed. I split up from my ex partner 2 years ago. It was hard. He was good and bad. Abusive. I didnt know what to do, been posting for help here. I finally left without any support. I took our dd with me. She's now nearly 4 year old. She coped with the brake up ok ish.
I have met a new man since than. He 's wonderful, sensitive, loving and is really ticking all the boxes for me. My daughter likes him. Thats very important. We want to move in together very soon. A bit of a problem is that He's still not divorced - wife making it difficult and long. He has 2 children from that marriage that live with their mother in other country.
Wife skypes him every day asking for money. Then he talks to the toddlers for 2h on skype. When he flies to see the children and take them to his parents to spend time together - sometimes they want mummy to come as well and cry so his wife spends the time with him and the kids - I dont really like it. I'm worried that we will move in together and his wife will be on skype all the time. Also I'm worried that when he goes to children he spends lots of time with her and she is a bit weird to say the least. I dont want to argue with him about her...
My question is do u think I have a point to be irritated or am I being silly?

OP posts:
SoleSource · 22/01/2014 19:31

I wouldn't date a married or separated man. Too much headfuck. The exact things you have described.

Fairylea · 22/01/2014 19:37

How long has he been separated? Are you sure he is actually separated and his wife just doesn't think he's working abroad or something weird like that?

If the break up was fairly recent then I think the behaviour is more understandable but I still wouldn't be happy about it.

If it's been years he needs to put his foot down and sort it out !

lucidlady · 22/01/2014 19:38

I can't imagine my toddler sitting still enough for a 2 hour Skype chat. I think he is not telling you the truth.

Which country is he from?

MellowAutumn · 22/01/2014 20:25

A toddler on sykpe for two hours ???

AmandaAmanda · 22/01/2014 21:13

They have been separated for over a year but not a real couple for much longer so its not recent brake up. The boys r 3 and 5 and I have witnessed them just hanging around on skype, showing daddy his new toys, talking about grandparents and cartoons. It takes them 2hours !!!!!
SouleSource - in mid 30 its hard to find somebody who is without any baggage... I'm myself with ex partner and a toddler so its not really fair.

I 'm just annoyed.

OP posts:
Leverette · 22/01/2014 21:19

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Leverette · 22/01/2014 21:22

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AmandaAmanda · 22/01/2014 21:43

I know they r separated. I'm not desperate and no longer vulnerable - for the first time in my life I feel like I'm in a relationship I always wanted to be... Really just have to sit him down and talk from the heart....

OP posts:
AmandaAmanda · 23/01/2014 15:34

But worried that everybody in here seem to think that his behaviour is odd... :/

OP posts:
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