I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

[BunnyLebowski]

I was going to name change but fuck it.

I have no friends. None. Not one.

I have no social life. I haven't been on a proper night out in years.

I am a SAHM and pregnant with DC2. We live in a city where we have no family. Just me and DP. Every night. On the sofa watching box sets. We have become far too co-dependent and I am filling up with resentment about it .

I had awful experiences at both school and uni with groups of girls who I thought were my friends and have ended up quite damaged and I think self-protective because of it.

I am a good person. I am kind and thoughtful and a good listener. I love company and really miss laughing with a friend over silly things.

However I have been told many times that I am intimidating. I really don't mean to be. Resting bitch face maybe?! I am smart and witty but also sarcastic, intolerant of idiots and am maybe just a wee bit judgemental. If anyone has seen Cougar Town I think I'm a bit like Ellie .

I am a wannabe 50's pin-up who drinks whiskey and quotes films with probably irritating regularity. I find it easier to talk to men in social scenarios (mainly because DP's friends are the only people I see in a social setting) but I haven't connected with anyone as a proper friend.

I don't like a lot of the designated 'girly' activities. I hate shopping. I hate romcoms and pink wine. I would rather eat my own head than go out clubbing in a big group of girls. I don't watch soaps or I'm a Celebrity. Hen dos bring me out in hives.

I made myself go to baby/toddler groups with DD1 and I hated every minute. As much as I love my DD I don't want to talk just about babies and BLW etc which is the experience I had. Competitive parenting everywhere.

In the past 5 years I have met 2 people who I initially thought I might be able to forge a friendship with.

One is a complete drama llama who dramatically declared herself an alcoholic then decided she wasn't and now gets drunk and rants on FB most nights. And once made a pass at DP. Needless to say she's off the list.

Person No.2 is someone I thought I had a lot in common with (50's clothing and kitsch etc) but is very much a Mimi and turns out has at least mild homophobic and racist tendencies .

I say hello to people on the school run but many of the mums seem quite cliquey (could be me projecting because of my bad experiences) and besides how do you turn a school run hello into a friendship??

When I see people on FB having big get-togethers or checking in on their sofa with their friends and wine I like I positively seethe with envy. Recently I have started getting really upset about the whole situation.

I have this vision of living somewhere where I make friends with a group of the neighbours and we have raucous nights in around the table laughing and listening to music. Sad much?? .

How can I make friends? Are there any people out there like me? At 33 am I destined to be this sad twat for the rest of my days? Has anyone been in a similar situation and changed it?

Alternatively are there any rent-a-friend websites?!

If you have made it to the end of this pathetic rant for you.

[Badvoc]

Love Tim minchin, bill bailey, Ross noble.
Do check out tommy tiernan. I think you would like him.
Mavis...I have GoT on DVD Boxset :) sky can do one.

[MavisGrind]

Dammit - forgot Boosh!

I love Malcolm-Don't ever call me a bully, I am so much worse than that -Tucker.

So happy he's the new Doctor...

Which reminds me, add League of Gentleman to the list. An Human Remains (anyone remember that - Rob Brydon and Julia Davis [sp])

[Tesselation]

Hi Bunny I have just done a quick scan of the thread and see that someone mentioned meetup. West Yorks is really well served by meetup groups. I do walking/ live music and women's social meetups and every group has been really friendly.

I looked at the thread because of the lyric in the title. If that means you're into gigs take a look at this one www.meetup.com/Leeds-Live-Music-Art-Lovers/ but if it doesn't suit, put your postcode in and prepare to be surprised at the various niche groups.

It's only a tenner a month to run one yourself so if you don't find what you're looking for you can start it.

meetup changed my life!

[Badvoc]

Fuzz pig...that is soooo cool!
:)
Ds1 and I are having a Star Wars marathon over half term.
We watched Flash Gordon the other day (it was on tv over Xmas) very fond memories of Brian blessed as a winged hawkman and Timothy dalton dressed like a camp Robin Hood :)
Marvellous.
What do we all like to read?
I will read pretty much anything*
*except chick lit and anything by Jeremy clarkson.
Massive faves are Douglas Adams (obv) Lindsay Davis, pg Wodehouse, bill Bryson....

[MavisGrind]

frugal - that's brilliant!

I'm a self confessed big 'ole geek so naturally love all things Whovian and Sherlockian plus lots of comedy gold.. Naturally my favourite small child book is The Elephant and the Balloon.....

[FormerTinMan]

Scary fact for you.

I have for the first time in my life a bunch of lovely friends...all of which I made in the short period when I was fat for the first time in my life. I can't help but feel it was related. Now skinny again, both kids in infants. Still have the friends.

I'm not suggesting it as an option. But I went from always trim and glam to frumpy and suddenly managed to make friends. Maybe I was nicer. Maybe I was easier to like, I don't know. I do think I got better at conversational minutiae when doing the baby group rounds, so it could be coincidental.

I think learning how to spend time with other women and not hate is something that can be learned. And yes I'm another survivor of teen bullying.

[MadBusLady]

I have just been watching some Green Wing

[PeriodFeatures]

Tinman I have just put on two stone and you have given me the perfect reason to get off my own back about it. :D

[SabraCadabra]

You sound just like me im older though. I moved to new area 11yrs ago to escape DV havent made any friends here. Just me and DP watching telly everynight, we go out seldom usually to gigs.
Would love friends, just someone I could ring or go for drink with. I hate girly crap too, much prefer male company. I imagine people find me quite odd too ive got bright turquoise hair, have a alternative look which I think people find intimidating, oh and im the wrong side of 40.
We should all make a club :)

[HeadFullofSteam]

Not read the whole thread Bunny but you sound like the kind of person i would love to have as a friend. Good taste in music to I suspect!

[FormerTinMan]

Glad to hear it Period Features. You'll be so happy when you have ditched the chub!

[FormerTinMan]

Missed the point totally there!

Give it a wee while first!

[BorderBinLiner]

Some of the advice on this thread has been 'don't be too judgemental, give folks a chance' but interestingly all the cultural references comedy or drama rather than the judgey ones. They're also been significant but minority so Data from Star Trek rather than Eastenders, Spaced/Green Wing/IT Crowd rather than Mrs Browns Boys. Not a whiff of the judging, your through to the final or reality shows.

As a guilty pleasure you may or may not watch the great British Bake-Off but no wonder many contributers to this thread struggle to find common ground once in the baby/school gate melting pot, 95% of the population are not watching Game of Thrones, Black Books or my current boxset crush - Nashville.

I'm always happy to find out about the latest Celeb reality show from someone who's passionate about it but it still rarely makes me want to seek it out and the lack of awareness about editing grates. I'd rather be emotionally manipulated by a bunch of fictional priests living on Ireland trying to work out if it's a small cow or a long way away but most of the school gate are going to see the Strictly Arena tour rather than quoting Beck lyrics (Radio 6 played new Beck the other day)

[YippeeKiYayMakkaPakka]

I often think that slightly geeky/shy/introverted types (coincidentally, the same types of people who are more likely to watch 'good' TV) are overrepresented on MN Border. Maybe because (very broadly speaking) there's a certain type of person who spends a lot of their time on an online forum. Or maybe it's the Beck quote in the title drawing us in. But you're right. I posted upthread along the lines of "Don't write people off just because they talk about Eastenders", but I'm not an Eastenders watcher myself

[ElizabethBathory]

Just want to make sure all the Yorkshire people on this thread know Ross Noble is coming to Harrogate in October. I've seen him three times already but am going again. He is insanely funny live, he makes my face hurt from laughing.

[ElizabethBathory]

YippeeKiYay I think that's very true. A while ago I did a Myers Briggs test - it told me I'm an ISFP, so I went and had a look at a Myers Briggs forum. The chat thread discussing ISFPs was massively long, full of people like me chatting away being all weird and introverted and excited they'd found like-minded people. I looked up DH's type on the forum and barely any ESFJs had posted anything. Certain types of people just aren't inclined to populate internet forums!

[HowGoodIsThat]

I saw Ross Noble years ago and my sides hurt for days and days afterwards.

[aroomofherown]

Ach bunny you sound fab and I'm gutted I live in London.

[Apatite1]

You think you're weird?

I'm on mumsnet and I don't even have kids!!

[FreakinAllAboutSugar]

My older DS and I are going out this Halloween as Vince Noir and Howard Moon (I'll be Howard). We're practicing a crimp to do door to door!

[flowerlights]

Have you thought about training to do theatrical make up?

[LittleBabyPigsus]

I'm an INFJ, geeky/shy/introverted. I can still enjoy shit telly (don't watch soaps but I do watch a lot of reality shows). Liking reality shows/makeup/shopping/soaps etc doesn't make a person thick or uninteresting and I think there is a bit of cultural snobbery in this thread. I don't think it's nastily meant, but I think when you're a person who's been picked on for being 'different' it can make you resentful of people who are 'the norm' even if they are perfectly nice and intelligent people. Your interests don't define your worth as a person. You can love Black Books and be a shit person, and you can love Eastenders and be a great person.

[superstarheartbreaker]

Step away from Facebook for your own sanity!

[frugalfuzzpig]

Yay I'm so glad to see others who like Ross Noble. Lots of people at work have never heard of him

There's a face... next muffin.

[LittleBabyPigsus]

Also, I am fat and have friends....

Attractive does not equal slim.