Long time lurker but first time poster. I have been with my DP since I was teenager (over 25 years), not married, no children, mortgage in joint names. DP is 15 years older than me. I need to leave as I can't stand the thought of being here much longer. I have a very small family and they live hundreds of miles away anyway.
Bit of background. DP is a classic type A personality – domineering, shouts me down, makes decisions (from what we are doing at Christmas up to big financial ones) without asking me or ignoring me if I disagree. He doesn't like me going out with friends, jealous if I talk to any of our (joint) male friends and says I don't pay him enough attention.
So basically, I need to LTB. I have thought this through for a long time and do want to leave. This is where it gets difficult – apart from the fact that I find the thought of actually telling him terrifying, I am basically going to lose most of my life. While I am not that bothered about leaving my home (although getting the equity out of it might be another story), I am really going to struggle with money. I work part—time, good job (I commute) and love it, but rents where I live are really expensive. I have done a budget and couldn't really afford even a one—bed flat. I have looked at room rents to try to save some money up but have never been in a house-share/lodging situation before and have no idea what to expect. So, it looks like I will have to look for another job and lose my security and friends there.
The other thing is that virtually all my friends locally (except work friends who all live miles away) are joint friends (he knew them first). People we meet regularly, usually in the same pub. I will not be able to see most of them again. A couple of girlfriends I am closer to and will still keep in touch/ go out occasionally but pretty much all of my social life will disappear.
So, if I leave, I will lose my home, my family (his family but I do get on with most of them), my social life and probably have to change jobs.
Is this actually possible to do that and stay sane?
I am posting from work and can't reply at home, but any support or suggestions would be really appreciated.