comment made about my 'confident daughter' should i be worried

[nomorebooze]

on walk to preschool this morning Daughter aged 4, the mum I walk with made a flippant comment about my daughter being confident, she said 'I would watch her when she's older her confidence could cause her problem's' was a bit at a loss what to say, but now its niggling me! what did she mean should I be worried? My daughter is a good little girl, who has oddles of energy, not shy about meeting new people! certainly not rude or nasty with it either! so what problems should I be worried about?

gosh BunnyLebowski you have just made me roar laughing at BINT, not heard that word in a long time, hehehe!
Well done to your DD:)

I've a shy clingy one (bunny I don't feel the need to project!) and I think she's a daft bint. Character is just how they are.
I'd look on with envy that your dd is carefree and confident but I'd never see it as a problem.

its sad though isn't it when because your child is outgoing, some people don't know how to react to them! my inlaws are just as bad, there older granddaughter was very quite and they did loads with her, they've never even offered with my Daughter! but that's another story...........

Maybe she is worried about her own child for some reason. Observing your happy, confident daughter could have highlighted the difference in her own child's behaviour.

I think you should assume that it is her problem and not yours.

I loved having a happy, chatty, confident 5 year old. She's a teenager now some days she's just the same on other days she's full of teenage hormones!

I would congratulate yourself on raising a confident child. If she says anything like that again just smile and say, "Ooh much better to be confident than lacking confidence, eh?"

I feel sorry for her little girl. I bet any confidence she dares display gets slapped right down. What a way to raise a daughter - as if the world won't try and slap them down enough!

Cog, I had the same, HAS THE TENDENCY TO CHALLENGE THE ACCURACY OF HER TEACHER....lol.

Ignore the stupid woman, she's probably jealous.

You need to get her into one of those 1940s classrooms that tried to knock the individuality out of her. Have you considered other ways of breaking her spirit, killing a beloved pet or maybe a family member. Then maybe everyday a la panto style you can say 'oh no you aren't' when she says 'confidently' am I brilliant Mum? What a really weird thing for that Mum to say. She sounds a but unhinged.

I have a lovely confident daughter, she occasionally pretends she's shy because somehow, she's got it into her head that being shy is a 'good thing'. She gets told (not by me), "You're not shy, are you?" as if she's lacking a virtue.

She may be a bit worried about her own daughter and trying to reassure herself by projecting negativity onto the qualities her daughter is taking a bit longer to develop, such as social confidence, as someone said below. No excuse for such a ridiculous comment though- your daughter sounds lovely! If the other mum has been nice up till this foolish comment, I might try saying something along the lines of how great it is that they are all such different little characters at this age and all have their own great qualities. My daughter is quite confident (and controlling!) at home but often shy/bemused with other children and quite clingy to me or her dad if we are around. I love the way some of the more socially confident characters in her class sweep her along and get her playing with them before she's really noticed.

Next time ask her "would you say that if my child was male?"
Fxxks me off when women and men are completely sexist in respect of children's personalities. I notice that noisy little boys are rarely told off whereas, boisterous girls are frowned upon as being unfeminine.
I'd tell her to take a running jump and totally challenge her on her pre-conceptions

Ignore.

DD (not so confident) made a friend at High School who she considered a soul-mate. She was very, very, confident (as are her mother and grandmother). I was told by another mother that I should not allow this friendship, as my daughter was being bullied by her.

The truth is that she is indeed a very confident girl. She is also a very well brought up girl, and will modify her ways if she is upsetting someone, and did not take advange. She will also tell the other person if she thinks they are being unreasonable to be upset. It has lead to only the very occasional falling out problem, and she is now a lovely grown up and DD has learned a lot from her and gained a lot of confidence as a result.

It takes all sorts.

I have a confident 3 year old. She will probably be the oldest and biggest in her year at school. My only concern is that she might be overbearing and that might not be useful socially. However I am sure that we will deal with it if it becomes an issue.

afternoon:) thanks for all your replys! it just niggled me as to whether i should be concerned that shes not shy in the slightest! you wonderfull folks have reassured my thoughts that its a good trait to have, Thank-you!

My DD(14) was a bubbly, chatty, confident pre-schooler. Her BFF was a shy, quiet child.

They are now both pretty similar in terms of confidence - not too shy, not too in-your-face, just right

well , you are clearly doing a fab job then

ignore the silly cow !

If she had said trusting, I'd understand, but not confident.

Maybe she doesn't know the meaning? :)

Agree, sounds like you're doing a fab job, sounds like you are . Deep, real confidence often comes of deep love.

The woman who commented, it could well be that she has a jealous and hostile agenda, I see no other motive for the comment ...

Its a pity you didn't get to ask "What Do You Mean?" (my favourite question of-all-time) to force her to reveal herself and her motives .... or bluster as she tries to hide them ...

I'm a v confident person, it hasn't caused me any problems, and if people don't like my confidence, that is their own issue, not mine.

Confidence is an advantage in life, absolutely and unequivocally. Of course there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Arrogance, on the other hand, is an extremely undesirable character trait.