Competitive tiredness

[ArgumentsatChristmas]

So, today I have:

1. Fed and walked the dogs
2. Fed the children breakfast
3. Cooked a Sunday lunch for 8 (roast lamb, roast and mashed, carrots, cabbage, peas and gravy
4. Cooked a Sunday dinner for 6 (mushroom risotto, roast chicken, bakewell tart - all made from scratch)
5. Did DD's french homework with her
6. Spent an hour catching up with bills and correspondence
7. Worked for three hours on a report.
8. Labelled DS's new school trousers and shirts

I have no clue what DH has done today. Not much. I think he did some washing up, but I wash up as I go along so he only had the plates and cutlery from lunch really. I got the kids to do the washing up at teatime. I also think he did one load of washing.

And don't go thinking that he needs to rest his precious man-brain at weekends to go do all the earning in the week. He doesn't. We both work FT. I earn much more than he does.

So I could live with this, I could live with this imbalance really, were it not for the unending stream of negativity and unpleasantness that comes out of his mouth.

For example - he looks at the lamb with horror and says 'What's this?' This is because I have cooked the lamb pink. For the last 22 years I have been overcooking every fucking piece of meat in the house because DH hails from Yorkshire and requires all meat to be overcooked to the point of incineration. Today I decided silently to rebel and cook the lamb pink. With garlic and rosemary. It was, if I say so myself, delicious. DH ranted for 8 full minutes about 'I need the meat cooked to MY SATISFACTION'.

So, once (and genuinely this is the first time I have done this) in 22 years I cook the meat to my satisfaction. I get a rant. A full on rant.

There were other incidents today. But the rant about the lamb just says it all.

He is a twat, isn't he? Please tell me he is a complete, utter and irredeemable twat.

Yes, of course he is a twat. What a ridiculous thing to rant about. "Thank you for cooking a lovely meal" would have been appropriate, not a rant. Hope you are OK.

Thank you for your post. Am really not very okay but he is who he is - which is mostly unpleasant and always unkind.

Blimey, he is very unpleasant and unkind.

LTB?

Dh cooking often leaves much to be desired but I always say thank you, it's the effort that matters. I do raise an objection if I think the food is dangerously undercooked but no ranting!

Sounds like "lambgate" might have been your tipping point?

What do you want to do?

If he is no help around the house and you earn more than he does, what is stopping you from ending it?

Do you get anything out of being with him?

he is who he is

You don't have to put up with it and let him get away with being a twat because its who he is

yes a massive twat. tell him from now on he can cook ...ungrateful arse!!

He is a twat.
Number one pet peeve - people who complain about food they didn't cook and act like they are entitled to.

I dumped my x for specifically that. He complained about his tea as if it was my job once to often. i told him the correct response was thank you taking the time to cook for me but if you don't mind I will just fix myself something as I don't fancy that tonight. sorry

Then I asked him to leave.

I feel for you arguments I lived with a man like that once, it made me feel just awful.

Can you get away for a while? Holiday? Think things over?

He does not appreciate anything I do, but I have to genuflect everytime he uses the washing machine.

I really am cross with him. Really Cross.

Yes he is a twat. I would have had a major strop which would have probably gone along the lines of cooking it his fucking self the ignorant lazy arse.
Does he have good points?

Do you by any chance have to forgive all his misdemeanors after he has issued a grudging apology but he is allowed to bring yours up forever after no matter how trivial or indeed totally made up?

And is he a sulker or just a ranter? Which does get do if you don't genuflect?

I just don't like him very much. Which I guess is a feeling that is reciprocated. He criticises all the time and has a quaint belief that he knows best. Yes he does have good qualities but right now, I can't see them.

Let's see

He's honest

That's about it

I'm glad you cooked the lamb pink. Did everyone else like it, and dislike his rant? Does he have any self-awareness at all?

He does both sulking and ranting. It really is irritating that he does both. Surely he should only do one?

Everyone else loved it.

Well, he is being a twat, yes.

What do you want to do?

Why are you with him?

OMFG.As the much missed Hullygully would say ' kill him he's horrible '.

He doesn't sound like a twat, he's well beyond that. He sound like an utterly miserable cunt. Must be soul destroying to live with.

Stop doing stuff for him and from this day forward ALWAYS cook the meat to your taste.

Is he really honest though? Is he self aware enough to be honest? Does he honestly know he's a twat (being polite)?

Bloody hell, he's awful.

How much longer can you put up with this? I'd start making plans and get some legal advice.

Yes. a get out plan. Start squirrelling money. Honestly OP, there's better, nicer men out there.

You say you cooked lunch for 8 - does that mean he had his paddy in front of guests?

Either way, yes, he's an arse.

This isn't really competitive tiredness, but piss-taking to the nth degree.

Just finished reading Sue Townsend's 'the woman who went to bed for a year' . If you don't chuck him out this could be you in a few years time!

Perhaps you could throw a Shirley Valentine in the meantime? That way you wouldn't lose your highly paid tf job ...

Yes. He is a complete and utter waste of otherwise decent atoms.

Now what?

You clearly deserve better.

he is a twat, my husband does most of our cooking, we say thank you - even if its beans on toast