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Relationships

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Time for a change in direction? But lost about which way to go.

6 replies

MissingTheTwinning · 19/01/2014 18:25

I’m 27 and working full-time in an administration job that I adore. I’m very happy where I live, although it’s nowhere near where I grew up and away from most of my family. I have a boyfriend who lives in a city a few hours’ drive from me – we see each other at least once a month and talk on the phone every few days. No children.

Even though I’m happier than I’ve ever been before (I imagine it on a graph – charting an arbitrary happiness score throughout my life according to various factors), something has stirred in my subconscious and I’m seriously considering a big shake-up in direction. Mostly, it’s career-related. I’d like to get into a university and study something I’ve discovered I have a passion for – something that in future could translate into a much better career prospect than the admin job I have right now. I do love my current job and I'd be very sad to move on.

I’m quite firmly decided that this course is the next step for me (if I’m able to find a uni to accept me!). The dilemma comes when I try to think about where I’d want to study. Would I stay in the small city I’m currently in? At some point in the future, me and my boyfriend want to move in together. If I’m tied into a three year course in my current city, it could put a roadblock in the way of that happening until I’m finished. (I know the possibility of switching to another uni may be available, but I also know myself and how I react to big changes – I worry it would take me a long time to re-adjust if I moved part-way through).

I moved to my current city to be with my now ex. After we split, it was the job that kept me here. If I left the job to study, why not move as well? Get two massive life changes out of the way at the same time..

So, if I moved away – I’d have two options in reality. One has been suggested by my DSis – she has a flat which is empty most of the time (used for visiting her DD) in same city where she studied the exact degree I’d like to get into – I could live at her place and get to see her every fortnight! Currently we see each other maybe a few times a year.. She’d also be able to give me practical help and advice with course stuff if we were spending more time together this way.

The other option would be to look at moving to my boyfriend’s city. I don’t know yet whether that would mean moving in together right away – although if I decide to move, it would be at least the summer before I left my job and packed up, so by that point we might be ready to take that next step. For now, I’m not completely decided yet on that.

What am I asking here then? Well, I guess.. firstly, is it crazy to be thinking about leaving a job I love? And if it’s not – what would you do, if you found yourself with these options? On the one hand, I'd like to have a closer relationship with my sister in future - I'd also like the same with my boyfriend!

OP posts:
SailingToByzantium · 19/01/2014 20:59

is it crazy to be thinking about leaving a job I love?

No - as long as your university course leads to better career prospects you will find a job you will love more and pays more...You are still young do not put off doing something just because your are content where you are now...

Abbykins1 · 19/01/2014 21:11

The job seems to be the mainstay of your life at the moment.If you threw that in your happiness would probably go with it.
Jobs are difficult to get,jobs you adore,almost impossible.

Make tentative enquiries by all means for a place at Uni, but think maybe Oct 16/17 rather than 2015.
Best of luck with whatever you choose to do,you sound like a really nice person.

Joysmum · 19/01/2014 21:56

Where are the best universities for the degree you are interested in?

BumblyBee123 · 20/01/2014 00:16

The course is the right way to go, the career prospects are amazing compared to your current job. Ask me how I know Wink I might be biased but at the end of the day you have to do what's right for you.

Having said that, if you did end up choosing the uni away from your dp then what's to say he couldn't move closer to you at some point? Smile

HogiBear27 · 20/01/2014 20:06

Is there anyway to complete the course via distance learning? (Or at least the first part) then transfer so you can be sure that its the right course of action?

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do!

MissingTheTwinning · 20/01/2014 23:32

Joysmum the top unis according to the rankings (excluding Cambridge and Oxford) are apparently: Glasgow, Bristol, Exeter, Birmingham, UCL.. (none of the three cities I've been considering at the moment unfortunately).

The point about being content where I am and letting that stop me doing something possibly better.. I guess that's what I'm worried about. I could do this job for another 10 years (probably still loving it too!), but I'd still be on pretty much the same wage. Unless I got a promotion.. in which case it wouldn't be the job I love any more! (a promotion in my dept would mean managing people rather than information and data.. not my cup of tea if I'm honest, although that could always change!)

The parts of my job I'm really passionate about are the ones that revolve around similar things to the course I'm considering.. I could find that this road leads me to a job I love even more one day.

aarggh, I hate these kinds of big decisions! It's not so much the course decision as the moving. My DSis has been telling me for years now that I should go study this.. it just took me a while to realise it for myself!

If I'm honest with myself.. I want to move to my boyfriend's. But I'm also very scared of making that decision.

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