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Original poster

your opinions please!

22 replies

jol1958 · 18/01/2014 14:29

Hey Guys
some honest opinions please -
Husband takes me away for romantic city break then tells me that he has arranged for us to meet up on the first night with young, single, female ex colleague who lives there for the evening!!! Not too happy about it but we go, have a fantastic weekend, meet up and have a nice time.
Have decided we will probably go back there again this year as it was so lovely, husband pipes up and says that we could meet up again!!
What do you all think? Should I be upset?, go along with it or what. Would really welcome some honest opinions, thanks in advance.

OP posts:
PassAFist · 18/01/2014 14:32

I would ask him why? You met up before, 'twas nice, but you're not exactly mates so why would you meet up again?

Twinklestein · 18/01/2014 14:35

I think three's a crowd. I'd tell him if he's that desperate to see her he can go alone.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/01/2014 15:07

Definitely three's a crowd. Confused Isn't the whole point of a romantic break that you do romantic stuff together, just the pair of you?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/01/2014 15:08

How about suggesting a different city?

Original poster
jol1958 · 18/01/2014 15:22

I totally agree, relief, I thought it was me being pathetic, thanks so much everyone :))

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/01/2014 15:33

Hmmm sounds a bit transparent. Does he have any communication with her the rest of the time?

paxtecum · 18/01/2014 15:42

Jol: I wouldn't be happy about that.
Why is in in touch with her anyway.
Do they FB each other?

EBearhug · 18/01/2014 15:46

Why shouldn't they be in contact? I'm in contact with quite a few ex-colleagues, male and female, single and married. If I knew one of them was planning to be in the area, or I was planning to be near where they are, I'd get in touch to say, "Fancy a pint and a natter?" Seems entirely normal to me.

Having said that - unless you particularly want to meet her again, I think it's quite reasonable to say you'd like time for just the two of you, so if he wants to meet up with her again, it should be another time.

Original poster
jol1958 · 18/01/2014 15:50

No, no other communication, he has no fb, is a bit of a technophobe. He just contacted her prior to the first trip to ask for some touristy info, places to go, things to see etc and it was her that suggested the meeting.

OP posts:
LyndaCartersBigPants · 18/01/2014 15:50

If he's selling it as a romantic weekend for you both, then no, meeting up with someone else, especially young attractive female, would be out for me.

If he was phrasing it as a weekend to visit so-and-so or even as a chance to visit that particular town then I can see why he'd think that was ok, but it still isn't if you're not happy with that!

My DP is taking me away for a long weekend to the same city at the same time as his colleague/gym buddy is going. The hotel his friend is staying at comes highly recommended, but DP is booking us somewhere else so that we don't end up bumping into his friend and feeling obliged to spend time with him on our romantic weekend.

ImperialBlether · 18/01/2014 15:51

It's supposed to be a romantic break for them though, EBearhug. It's not very romantic to go out for dinner with your man's ex colleague, is it?

procrastinatingagain · 18/01/2014 15:51

It doesn't seem that odd to me. Quite normal to meet up with someone who lives somewhere you're visiting, imo. If you don't want to meet up, tell your dh. If he then says he'll go to meet her on his own, then THAT would be odd.

Original poster
jol1958 · 18/01/2014 16:04

True, I guess when you say it like that...., some more balanced views perhaps. How thoughtful of your DP LyndaCartersBigPants!

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 18/01/2014 16:14

Jol, can't you just say, "That's not very romantic! Can't we have some time on our own?"

It doesn't have to be a big deal, does it?

Twinklestein · 18/01/2014 16:41

I'm in touch with a lot of ex colleagues and so's my H, but I don't particularly want to see them on mini break.

In the context of the H asking the woman for tourist info and her inviting you along, that's all normal, but it's a bit odd to repeat it, and would she actually want to?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 18/01/2014 16:59

Once might be sociable twice is pushing his luck. Romantic break for whom?

CogitoErgoSometimes · 18/01/2014 17:02

I think it's the word 'romantic' that's definitive here. If it's just 'a city break' to see an interesting city and the idea is to be sociable you can pal on with Old Uncle Tom Cobbleigh and All. If it's a 'romantic break' the implication is you only have eyes for each other.

'Dinner'... on a tray watching telly. 'Romantic dinner'... candles and long meaningful gazes mandatory

Original poster
jol1958 · 18/01/2014 17:24

Yes agreed cogitoergosometimes, we are hardly in the first flush of youth and have been very happily married for many years, I guess really it was a bit of both but mostly an opportunity for us to spend some precious time away together, I think once with the colleague was enough though. Perhaps my perception of the "break" was different to his: male/female wiring differences in the brain and so on...

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 18/01/2014 17:33

Op I wouldn't be happy with this. In fact when DH and I do go away the last thing we would want is to meet up with peopleGrin. Even if we did we would always ask each other first, seems odd that he would spring this person on you who you don't really know.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 18/01/2014 17:38

I guess in your shoes I would have felt slightly better about this had the ex colleague suggested meeting up with her plus 1, or if DH took me away so frequently it wasn't a big deal.

Juliaparker25 · 18/01/2014 17:49

The little red LED is quietly glowing ............

AnyFucker · 18/01/2014 18:36

There is no such thing as male/female wiring differences...that is simply an apology for selfish behaviour exhibited by an individual

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