DP and low self-esteem

[PaulMcGannsMistress]

I realized last night that DP really doesn't think much of himself (which explains a lot of the sexual problems we were having for the past few years, mostly resolved now).

I told him, as we were getting ready for bed, that I liked watching him undress (sorry if TMI ) He got very flustered and said why would I like watching that, there's loads of other men much more attractive, he's not very attractive etc.

Now, quite frankly, I find him unbearably sexy. He's got a bit of a tum, which he's working very hard to lose, but it really doesn't bother me and he knows this.

Does anyone have any advice on how to help him? Is there anything glaringly obvious from what I've shared that I'm doing wrong?

Reminds me of that scene in The Full Monty when Mark Addy's character says despondently... 'Who wants to see this dance?' and gets the reply 'Me Dave. I do'. :)

Keep telling him he looks great and he might one day believe you. In the meantime, help him appreciate his other qualities.

My DH was like that when I met him and now he will spontaneously dance around naked for me.... just keep expressing your attraction to him until he believes you!

Yep, and he has plenty of other qualities to admire. This morning I said I thought I had a headache because I didn't drink enough tea yesterday, and twenty minutes later, just before he left the house, he appeared at the bedroom door... with an unsolicited steaming mug of hot tea . He really is a treasure. Most of the time .

I just know that if it was me saying 'I'm fat and ugly' which is basically what he's saying, he'd be full of 'oh no, you're gorgeous', and there was a time when wouldn't have believed it no matter how many times he said it. I'm much better now (and very happy in my own skin) and I'm trying to work out how I got there so I can help him get there too...