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Relationships

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Original poster

Internet dating stories ?

72 replies

MummyAbroad · 18/01/2014 02:30

I'm giving it a whirl, I have signed up and put myself out there. Feels really scary and so far is bringing disappointing results. Anyone had any really positive experiences internet dating? Equally if you have had bad ones, post it too so I can see how it really is....oooh no on second thoughts, post all the funny stories to cheer me up... go on... there must be some good'uns between you all. :-)

(Apologies if I am not back for a while, I'm not in the same time zone as the UK)

OP posts:

LittleBabyPigsus · 19/01/2014 17:48

Scarlet it's incredibly transphobic and offensive to refer to a trans man as 'a her'. He's not a her, he's a man who has a vagina - bottom surgery is painful and risky so unsurprisingly, many trans people don't have it. Please don't misgender trans people.

I am on OKC since I am bisexual and they are one of the few sites that allow you to have a profile as a bisexual (Match, POF, eHarmony etc all make you have a profile as either straight or gay, I am neither so not very helpful for me!). Yes, there are plenty of people who are poly or in open relationships but I find that they are open and upfront about that, and aren't offended if it's not for you. Nothing wrong with being polyamorous after all. Found POF far seedier.

TalisaMaegyr · 19/01/2014 18:02

Bad form for it not to be mentioned before the date though LittleBaby

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 19/01/2014 18:02

Scarlet it's incredibly transphobic and offensive to refer to a trans man as 'a her'. He's not a her, he's a man who has a vagina - bottom surgery is painful and risky so unsurprisingly, many trans people don't have it. Please don't misgender trans people.
I completely agree with this, LBP, but I would argue he had an obligation to inform Scarlet before he met her...

Fairylea · 19/01/2014 18:12

I agree with jonsnow.

Perfectlypurple · 19/01/2014 18:15

I had a couple of short term relationships from online dating. I have 3 friends who have met their partners on pof. 2 are engaged and living together. The other will soon be engaged, planning a baby and live together.

There are idiots though. Its easy enough to spot them.

Scarletohello · 19/01/2014 22:33

I don't have any problem with trans people, sorry for offence, was just making a point for dramatic purposes

Still would have liked to have known beforehand tho, it did feel rather deceitful without mentioning it. And not very wise either.

Original poster

MummyAbroad · 19/01/2014 22:41

Scarlet I would have been too, bit unexpected!

OP posts:

nirishma · 20/01/2014 00:09

I wasn't looking for a husband tbh just a but of fun. Had a fair few dates with some godawful dickheads and some fantastic sex but nothing serious.

Then had a four hour convo with future DH and when we met ftf the next day I already felt I knew and loved him. Pretty intense from the offset . We kissed on first date at the beginning, got engaged a few months later, then married then expecting our honeymoon baby plus bought a house together all in the same year! Mental but so happy.

My most memorable date was this fella who kept farting about cancelling meet ups at the last minute. He had a tights fetish. Would dress top to toe in Lycra (head included), put on a skirt and have a wank and send me pics. I thought it was hilarious. The plan we would go tights shopping together as a first date. Glad I didn't meet him though , wouldn't be with my OH now if I had. I'd probably be in a ditch somewhere come to think if it.

AngryBeaver · 20/01/2014 00:17

My brother met his df, one child, one bump and a ring...they're pretty happy they gave Internet dating a go :)

alphabook · 20/01/2014 01:14

Kissed a few frogs, then met my H 4 years ago. We've been married for just over a year.

Dirtybadger · 20/01/2014 01:36

mummyabroad 'fraid no support, I was young and embarrassed to tell anyone I'd even met him online let alone I'd been an idiot enough to let him do everything described.
Wiser now. And there's MN!

That was on POF, by the way. A friend of mine is on POF and has had lots of successful dates, though. She hasn't met the right guy but not awful ones. Apparently you can't send the cock pictures anymore? Which can only be a good thing. Just avoid the ones whose main picture is their abs...

I don't know about other dating sites, and you haven't mentioned it so I assume it's not relevant...but you can only 'look for' one gender on POF, which I found very strange. Bisexuals are not acknowledged!

Does anyone know if this is different on t'other sites?

GhettoPrincess001 · 20/01/2014 01:37

I got chatting with a bloke from, OD site, 'click and flirt' who was nice enough. He said he was chatting with one girl but she said it would cost 100 quid to meet her as she was a prostitute ! Privately I laughed as that was a great excuse from her not to meet him.

I chatted with another bloke who seemed keen to meet me. I thought he was ok. Coffee first then the next meet up was dinner. He had his STBXW name tattooed on his forearm. What a prat ! Third date he stood me up, shame really. He eventually gave me some bullshit excuse but it was over as far as I was concerned. I only wanted a random fuck and a laugh at his other tattoos. He only would have known about the fuck !

Next couple of blokes were rebounds from that. One was a sex addict who was married. One of his conquests had a rape fantasy, he made her write down the details so he had evidence if it came to court.

The next was again, married. His wife had gynae problems so he went looking for it elsewhere. Charming. He had his tongue down my throat before we had even left the pub. So much for him telling me in his messages how sensual he was. He was a grab and grope like most men.

JingleMyBells · 20/01/2014 13:34

Before I met DP I used online dating. My most successful was an 8 month relationship with lovely guy but I ended it when it started getting serious. Looking back it was too soon after my divorce.

As for bad ones, there was the guy who was so short he could barely see over the bar. He then spent alot of time talking about bridges. There was the guy who acted really keen and the day after saying he was looking forward to seeing me, sent a text ending it. Maybe the girlfriend caught him out Oh and there was the one who went away to Thailand on his own and then posted loads of pics lf himself with local women. Wonder what he had been up to??!!

Also had plenty of willy pics and requests for naked pics. They were all declined btw

MsFanackerPants · 20/01/2014 15:28

Met via Guardian soulmates 4 years ago. Engaged and have an 8 week old daughter. We'd actually been at a lot of the same gigs over 15 years but had never met. We clicked straight away.

graceholl · 21/01/2014 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JonSnowKnowsNothing · 21/01/2014 17:32

Me too, graceholl. Without sounding bigheaded, I know I have got some reasonably nice face pictures, so have used them. But then I don't meet people because I'm scared they'll run a mile. I have a lot of weight to lose too

Original poster

MummyAbroad · 21/01/2014 17:48

gracehol and jonsnow I am worried about these kinds of things too - put your best photo and possibly disappoint or put a "realistic" one not get any replies? and then how do you know if the other persons photos/descriptions are honest? its a minefield!!

I have been asked on a date by someone whose profile I "liked" but I am fast losing confidence.... its took me three days to reply to his first email...and for the last two days I have been trying to decide whether to say yes or not. I didnt realise this was going to be so anxiety inducing!!

OP posts:

graceholl · 21/01/2014 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelmaD · 21/01/2014 17:57

Met my lovely bf on POF. Six months ago and although its still relatively new its perfect. Perfect mix of him, the kids, being myself. Absolutely love him.

This was after four years of being single. Three of which I dated using POF.

madasa · 21/01/2014 20:56

Met my DP 7 years ago online...best thing I ever did :)

Witchofthenorth · 21/01/2014 21:22

I met my OH on plenty of fish...a wonderful man!! I was away to delete my profile as i was sick to death of the "hi sexy, have you a pic of your boobs?" messages.

Literally two minutes before I was away to delete, he messaged with the most normal sweet message and its been wonderful ever since...totally met my other half :)

I have made a few friends through it too and had THE most amazing sex since joining...they are not all weirdos...but sometimes you do have to sift a little.

FolkGirl · 22/01/2014 05:11

I met the man I'm seeing online.

He seems pretty normal and he's deleted his account (which I think speaks volumes).

I've also made a couple of friends through it.

I also realised what a sheltered life I've led. There are some real... er... 'characters' out there.

I had a great time doing it, but I wasn't 'husband hunting' (I'd have been disappointed had I been). I just wanted to have some fun nights out, meet some people, practice going on dates and just try and improve my confidence. It worked on all counts.

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