Im always fine until I move in with a man

[feltpaperchains]

So have just moved in with DP, we always knew that domestically it would be challenging as Im quite tidy organised etc and he is a hauder/undonesticated.
But we love each other and he has made a huge effort and lots of changes since I moved in a few weeks ago.
The thing is he comes home from work most nights in a foul mood.
Today I put a load of laundry on before I went to work and left him a note asking him to hang that load up and put the load by the machine in that way it would all be done by tomorrow.
He met me at a friends house this evening in a really bad mood because I hafn't left another basket out fot him to carry the wet stuff upstairs.
I said so youre in another strop and he said yeah/ didnt kuss me to say hello and generally ignored me then said he was sorry.
The sorrys are already wearing thin as he bursts my bubble nearly daily now I live eith him.
I had domestic problems such as this eith my last dp and it ended the relationship.
How do people manage to get through these annoying situations without falling out of love?
Thanks in advance. (sorry bad spelling am on iphone)

How to divide chores isn't the issue. You are not the issue either. He is the issue. He sounds hard work and entitled.

He should be bending über back jawed soy make you feel at home, not sulking and complaining about the change.

Thankyou, he aploagised for being silly hed just got in from a long shift and felt frustrated.. We had a long chat last night and he agreed to do more house work. We realised that we both have a lot of fear about either being taken for granted or getting it right.
I feel better as he's agreed to sit down and divide up the house stuff.
I hope we can crack it

Hope you can both work it out...
I have a to leave my OH notes if that makes you feel any better!

Talk is cheap. :) Judge him by his actions, not his promises.....

Thanks, I will do

Actually I have some sympathy with your DF. It sounds like he had a perfectly good system that worked for him that you have moved in and altered.

I wouldn't be happy to get in from work and be expected to do laundry. I know DH wouldn't be either.

I suggest you calm down a bit and don't try to control everything. Or if you do want to be in control and have higher standards than he does, then you do it, but without complaint.

I have higher standards of cleaning than DH, so I do the cleaning. He has higher standards of cooking, so he cooks (and shops for the food). You need to play to your strengths and get a system where you each do the chores you don't mind doing. This does evolve over time (we have been honing the system for nearly thirty years) if you put the effort in and talk about it. Plus you must let the other half do their chores when they want to and not expect it done immediately.

Very slippery rope there. Adapting to different standards is fine when both have high(ish) standards in different things. Not when one doesn't have standards at all. Of course the best option there is to walk out instead of doing it all.

And if you'd be in a foul mood just because you were asked to hang some clothes and put one load on, then I worry.
He could have chosen not to do it, and explain why, instead of having a tantrum.

You moved into his house?

Clearly you saw what domestic standards he had (or didnt have) before you moved in?

I'd be pissed off if some one kept moving my things and throwing them away.

You really should have rented a new property together, rather than move into someone elses territory and attempt to change them

TBH anyone leaving me notes for house work would get short shift from me.

You sound awfully hard work OP.