Is it possible to 'love' a person you only chat to on the phone?

[OnlineMadness]

That you have only seen a few photographs of each other?

He tells me I love you.. sometimes.

Started chatting with him three months ago..

He seems a nice guy and I am careful. I do not feel the same way about him and i suspect he is just lonely.

I enjoy his company. He knows the city I live in, my mobile number and Skype but no other personal identifying details.

Run like the wind and don't look back!

The world needs more love... :) Nice enough sentiment but, in the thorny world of online chatting, probably means 'desperately needy man angling for a shag'.

Yes, I think so too. I won't be meeting him.

I think the general feeling is that any declaration of love too soon is a bad sign; maybe not in all cases but in general.

What's the problem? If you don't feel the same way about him, just stop talking to him!

I had this with a guy once. He saw my photo on a messageboard thing and complimented me ... we emailed for a bit, then phoned, and eventually met after, ooh, a fortnight. We loved each other then.

Reader, I married him. We have three DC and are planning our tenth anniversary bash.

It can be real.

No I enjoy our chats and I really do not feel he means it. I just wondered what other peo0ple thought and maybe their experiences were.

posted too soon

It can be real. But only if it's symmetrical.

Ooooh this reminds me of Catfish, where people think they're inlove and they've never met. And one of them is almost always hiding something, like a second head.

Don't invest anymore time in him

I think you can fall in love in three months, but not when you've only spoken on the phone. You need to know a person - their little habits (good and bad), what they're like when they're tired or angry or upset, and how they deal with certain situations. I've been with DP ten months, and I've known him nearly 3 years.

I do love him but I'm always learning new things about him - and most of those things didn't come out until we moved in together. You can have an amazing relationship with someone, but seeing someone 2/3 times a week is VERY different to living with them everyday.

Does he know you don't reciprocate? Has he suggested meeting up?

Pressed post too soon!

I think it is possible to develop feelings for a person in that situation, but as others have said, not love. How do you love someone when you only know what they've chosen to tell you.

I wonder whether he's saying it because he thinks it's what you want to hear or because he really wants to be in love with someone?

I "met" a guy online and got to know him through Skype as he was in Afghanistan. We got very close and projected all sorts of stuff onto each other while chatting away. I finally met him after four months when he came home on leave. He was bristling with red flags but luckily dumped me after a week.

After recovering from the smarting I realized I had dodged a bullet. He was a very damaged man and not fit for a real relationship, although very sweet as a virtual boyfriend!

I think you can develop feelings for someone this way. To have chemistry. you get to know each others personalities before meeting and knowing if there is physical chemistry there. He probably is lonely, many single people are. It's not a crime to be lonely but hope for more. Probably unwise to say it to someone. I think part of the problem is we don't have enough words in English for different types of love or feelings for people to cover this.

It could be a red flag, of course. It puts a massive amount of pressure on making meeting a success or it being a crushing failure. I've met people whose online personas have been attractive to me but afaic all bets are off until you meet.

I'd say no, not in a real sense, but certainly you can develop a dependency on someone. But having watched many an episode of Catfish.... I'm in the no camp. :)

It would ring alarm bells for me too... I spoke to my now-DP by phone / email / text for 3 months before we met, and although we both say we felt a strange connection to each other at that time, neither of us would have called it love. It may be that he just thinks this is the way to hold your interest. What do you say in response?

I met a man at a party and he started emailing me after that. 10 days later we were in love. 3 years later we are engaged and I swear, I have never loved anyone more.

Love comes in funny ways, don't question it.

However, it is a two way street and if you don't also feel it it's probably not a connection.

I have gone on a massive spree of tht mtv show catfish and yus yus so possible

I did a lot of Internet dating, chatting online, on the phone, etc but you never really know someone until you meet them in real life.

Why have you spoken for so long and not met? That would be the red flag for me