Did you write to the OW?

[Herhonesty]

So bloody tempted but I suspect it's counter productive and she would just laugh .... Did you? What did you say? Was it worth it?

I had about 50 messages from her in in one night. At first I was upset because previous to this I had no contact at all with her. I had known about her for 3 weeks and they had been seeing each other for about 4 months.

He ended it and I got a load of abuse through Facebook messages. She wasn't my friend she must have searched me.

After the first few messages and her getting more wound up that I wasn't responding I realised I was sitting on comedy gold and she had me laughing for the first time in months.

When she finally realised I wasn't going to respond she turned up at my home and stood in the driveway with my child's scooter in her hand. I think she may have planned to wallop me with it. I just rang the police and they kindly moved her on.

Thinking more about it it was basically like reading a message sent from Vicky Pollard.

To give a different perspective, my MM's wife sent me an email after she discovered our affair. Believe me, laughing was the very last thing it made me feel. She was terribly hurt but dignified. She made me feel as small as I deserved.

I did reply, to say it was all my fault and I was so sorry. I guess it was an attempt at damage limitation. Possibly unwise but I never heard from her again after that.

These people are never repentant. It's never their fault, so you rarely get the closure that you need. I write letters every now and then, they rage/rang/vent, but it's for me. I never send them to the recipients, it just helps me process things and get them off my chest. Never write anything that you wouldn't want anyone posting up on the internet or something........

I sent an email to her husband asking him to take his wife out for a coffee as my husband couldnt make it the last time she asked or the dozen times before that.

You wrote to her parents? WTF have they ever done to you?

Against all the advice, yes I did. There were so many things I wanted to say, and felt powerless. This situation had blown up in my face, and it seemed I was meant to just watch it unfold without comment (to her anyway). After a few months - and with much sadness, argument, confusion and discussion, DH and I are reconciling. He did not get off lightly by any means, and I in no way blame only her. But I do feel she was equally responsible. I had to tell her what I thought of her, and I did so in a measured and dignified fashion, 3 months after I found out. She did apologise, but I didn't care at that point. For some reason it just really helped me to move on (obviously, not completely) and felt a bit more in control. God knows what that's all about..but don't think I came across and mad and unhinged. I definitely feel better for doing it, but chose my words and tone very carefully.

I described the circumstances very clearly. Very very clearly.

Oh my her poor parents.

I sent a hurtful text and git a pity me text back. Ex went mad. Lot of storm and drama. Probably a waste of time. Revealing how self centred she was though.

I confronted OW at work with an unsigned letter I had found from her in XP's bag. I recognised the handwriting immediately. I begged her to help me find out which colleague he was having an affair with saying that the only clue I had was that she was an old slapper who shagged anything that moved and had slept her way round the whole factory. I added that I heard that she neglected her child to pursue various men. I finished by saying that I would take the letter to HR if she didn't recognise the handwriting. How I kept a straight face I'll never know.

I wanted to contact the 22yr old Bulgarian lass that my ex had been having an online affair with.
Mainly to suggest that for someone in a very patriarchal and old fashioned society, sending naked dirty pics to an idiot like my ex could screw up her life.
If I had copies of them...the world could do.
I liked her, actually. She seemed nice but incredibly naive. I didn't contact her, still think about it, worry about her.

I've never wanted to, and if I did I just know they would have shared a giggle about me, after which ex h would've texted me to say that I was out of order because she hadn't done anything wrong .

I was the OM and I had a lot of stuff from her mostly just trying to get information on facts but I told her what she needed to know. Gave him a chance to tell her first he didn't so I did.

I can see why she does write to me or phone/txt me to vent her anger and now I assume she's taking it out on him. After all he was the one who knew what was at risk, family, GF, secrets but he loved cock too much to think of that. And am not saying the OP is not at fault we are too but those people who loved you ultimately betrayed you more.

Drasticpark I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face! What was her reaction?

ButICant - she was shaking like a leaf, stammering and the colour visibly drained from her face. She offered me a coffee (probably to escape the situation for a few seconds) which I accepted. I think she spilt most of the coffee as she walked back towards me. She tried to convince me that my P didn't have it in him to do such a terrible thing to me and ds. It was utterly fascinating to watch someone lie like that. I strung the conversation out for a good 30 minutes. Any anger I had towards her was momentarily replaced by being incredulous at the sheer audacity she had. I never regretted it for a second.

That must have been fascinating to watch!

LovesPeace didn't you think there was a chance that she probably wasn't in the best place and that her actions towards your husband were perhaps economically-motivated?

Nice username though.

I wrote to her parents because I was too upset to speak. They were our best friends.

Gossipyfishwife Ah, that makes more sense. So, your partner went after his best friends daughter?!

Nope. Hugs x