How do you know if someone really loves you?

[QuestionsQuestions22]

I am in a relationship and he has just proposed. I said yes, and was very happy, but then started to have a few doubts. I know I love him more than anything, but I am unsure.

Not because of anything he said or did, but just because I have been battered before and don't want to end up divorced twice.

How can I work out if he really, really loves me? The kind of way that you stay with someone forever?

At the moment it is all fireworks in the bedroom and being unable to be apart for more than a day but I want to know what happens when all that cools down.

I asked him what he loved about me and he said; I was a great person, I was funny, I was a lot of fun to spend time with, I was his best friend, I was a great listener, I am kind, I am selfless, I am a good Mum, I am clever and being around me makes him happy.

My previous DH seemed to love me in the same sort of way but he ran off with an OW when I was pregnant and he was, I thought for 8 years, a nice guy. It took me ages to recover and I feel scared.

I know I can't get any guarantees, but I want to not make the same mistakes again. What do I look for to be sure that he really loves me? what questions should I be asking myself? Are there any signs that might show it was just infatuation?

Been together a year as a couple. Had met at various weddings and things over the past 17 years as we had a mutual friend from uni. Was a totally random series of events online dating amongst them that got us together.
I always thought he was lovely what I knew of him but also probably a bit too good to be true. But nope he really is that lovely and so are his family who didn't bat an eye lid at me and my 3 dc just welcomed us with open arms and lots of chocolate.

I 'd say he loves you.

You are understandably cautious, so have a long engagement.

I'm similar. Love my dp and know he loves me, but there's no way on God's green earth you'd ever get me married again.

And your dp sounds like a great guy - just what you deserve. Cherish him and enjoy every minute!

I think he sounds lovely. One test is how he behaves when he's tired and he's still kind then.

Don't even think that if you had fights or separate times you'd feel better about it.

You should treasure him.

I'd be concerned that this is the honeymoon period. It's easy to love in calm seas.

Have you faced any turbulence yet? This is when people show their mettle in my experience.

She's been with him three years!

Well...you've all made me see that I am paranoid and miserable old cow and I really do treasure this man. Actually, I love him so horribly much that I am absolutely waiting for the catch. There must be a catch? Isn't there always.

TheIntegratedHelper....I am not sure...we have been through outside problems. As for the honeymoon period...I keep waiting for it to end. I hope it doesn't :( Does it always?

He has always been a rock. I know because he's not rich, successful or terribly handsome that he wonders why I am with him. The funny part is I always wonder the opposite. Sometimes I feel like he gives so much and asks for so little. Not just from me, but from anyone. I look at him, just watching TV or doing homework with the kids, and wonder how I ever deserved someone so totally lovely to be in my life. I am pretty much every day completely overwhelmed by loving him so incredibly much. I hope I can find a way to ever deserve him.

If he read this, he would cry. I might have had a glass of vino or two!

Suffice to say that maybe when you have been completely and utterly crapped on throughout life, sometimes it;s hard to believe you have something good and it's not just a trick or some sort. A lot of you probably understand what I mean. We've all been through a shit storm on MN!

Aw that is lovely to read Questions and in vino veritas so you probably mean it!
Just enjoy this lovely time in your life and talk it through with him. He will reassure you because he is a nice guy!

oops...wine! but it is all true