dh rant

[warthog]

I have a very lovely dh on the whole so this is pretty trivial but just need to vent.

Today we were talking about the week off work he's taking soon. We're just staying at home. Whenever he's at home, it's more work for me because he just seems to leave a snail's trail of stuff wherever he goes. I'm a SAHM. I sighed and wondered when I'd get a holiday, to which he replied 'oh you're always on holiday'. It was half jokey, but I think that's what he really thinks. Just small actions / comments here and there. So now as I'm hanging up his washing and going to cook his supper I'm wondering whether I'm enjoying my holiday.

Just needed to vent really. Thanks for reading.

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warthog, the week at home will show him its no holiday!

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Wankers the lot of them

as your dh off for a week why don't you arrange a day out with friends leaving dc with him and a list of things which you would normally do on that day and ask him to do while your out. This way you get a least one day holiday, and he get to see what you do "while on holiday" everyday.

This is what i did find it works a treat. Mind you before being a sahm if he didn't wash up after dinner i wouldn't cook him dinner the following day as wasn't doing 2 jobs.

Yes, we'll take day trips out, but I admit that just the thought fills me with exhaustion. This is minor really, and I'm sure the week will be fine. Just would like him to treat me with a little more respect. It's not just that comment, it's the gentle drip drip of innuendoes that I'd like to stop. I guess I'll have to talk to him about it.

But you can't make someone respect you can you? You have to earn it. How do I go about doing that?

Grrrrrrr - snail trail!

Drives me mad too.

dh says to me when I suggest doing something at the weekend "oh I have been working all week"..! Ha..! And what have I been doing..??!!

I'm also a sahm and tbh atm I so need a holiday. I think because we are sahm people think we are living it up iykwim. I have told dh that being at home 24/7 is not always fun. Looking at the the same 4 walls day in day out, doing the same routine day in day out..gets just as routine as "working".IMO anyway!!

Januarymum, I'm still bf dd so it's very hard to get away.

Tell your dh that a lot of those of us who work outside the home do so because we think it is the easier option.

glad I'm not alne! Thanks guys, feel better now.

why should you earm his respect..? You are his dw and the mother of his child ffs..that enough for him to respect YOU...!!!

ooo feel pissed off again. yeah dammit, why should i be made to feel s**t for looking after the family? it's a thankless job that's for sure.

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I've taken a new approach when dh is off work. We're off on holiday tomorrow and dh has aken a couple of days off beforehand. It was driving me silently into a furious frenzy that he felt he had the time to watch dvds all afternoon while I have been charging around shopping, finding the travel iron, sorting clothes, suntan lotion etc etc. So I wrote a list of all the jobs and said ok, here are all the jobs let's split them down the middle so we don't 'double up' (as if ).
As a result dh is now responsible for doing all the holiday ironing and sorting and packing everything for the children. Hooray!!! God knows what they'll end up wearing on holiday but I don't care because it will be dh's problem to sort it out.

Worth a try when your dh is off work perhaps??

Sounds like you definitely need a break. I also feel this way when I'm particularly knackered.
Would arrange a day out with the girls or a trip to the hairdressers, facial and some dossing-time in a coffee shop and disappear without rushing around like a lunatic and preparing the way for dh whilst you're away. Dh finally got the point when I had to spend a few days in hospital unexpectedly and has been much better since (though I don't expect much as far as childcare goes tbh).

yeah that's a good idea. i could get him to look after dd for a few hours while i have some 'me' time. i do desperately feel like a holiday - but a REAL one i.e. sitting on a beach sipping mohitos, not running around after everyone else on THEIR holiday!

Men are generally quite stupid when it comes to their idea of what we do all day...I can wash, clean, scrub and iron all day, but if their are toys scattered around the house when he comes home, he asks what I've been doing all day.

On the other hand, I can sit on my arse all day, leave the washing, not worry about the dust, and simply pick up all the toys from the floor before he gets home to elicit a response along the lines of 'I can see you've been busy'

They're not wired right.

And I'm sure he wouldn't notice if my spelling was awful either

My dh thought i had it easy until he took a week off work. We didn't go anywhere either but it really opened his eyes to what I did all day.

He now knows his life wouldn't be worth living if he made a comment like that.

Hope for you that it has the same effect on your dh