How do I move on?

[NoSensenofeeling]

So, DH is a compulsive liar. MIL tells me that he always has been and she thinks it's because he can never admit that he is wrong and own up to his mistakes. Anyway, he has lied about many things over the years, big and small. When he starts behaving in a certain way, I know that he is being deceitful about something. Two years ago, that something turned out to be another woman.

So, I'm trying to forgive him and move on. But he keeps on lying about stuff. A few weeks ago his lies were surrounding the submission of some college assignments. On Monday, he had two more assignments due and, I found put today, he has lied about them too. I'm hoping he felt guilty when I gave him a little well done gift for handing them in . The thing is, he's had more than enough time to do them and he is acting really off with me. I suspect that there may be another woman again.

This morning he shouted at me in front of the kids about some housework I hadn't done. He was really horrible but twisted it so much that my eldest was saying "poor daddy".

I keep checking up on his e-mails because of his behaviour. I can't trust him. I want to, but I need him to be 100% open and honest with me all the time.

I'm tempted to leave him but he has total control over our finances and I no longer work because it was causing him difficulties balancing child care and his work. We have four children. I have no idea how I would cope without him. But this really isn't right, is it?

The thing is, he is a really nice guy. It's as if he truly believes his lives or that part of him is so fragmented that he doesn't see it as part of him. I don't know if that makes sense. He has been trying hard much of the time but he is still lying to me.

Sorry, believes his lies

It's not right that you seem to be wholly dependent on a pathological liar & bully who you think may be with other women ... again. Forgiving him once was risky. Forgive him twice and you'd be a complete fool.

You won't realise how corrosive his behaviour is until you have put some distance between you. In your shoes I'd be talking to plenty of people who could give you the plain, unvarnished truth about what your life would look like post divorce i.e. CAB, solicitors, the CSA. Womens Aid 0800 2000 247 is a good source of information for all of the above. Even if you're not 100% convinced you should get out yet, at least have a sound plan you can swing into action when you finally decide you and your children deserve much better.