Hey ladies hope your ok. Just needed to offload. Hope that's ok. I'm Vanessa, been with Dave 8 year got married in 2012. We lived in Birmingham 2 beautiful girls one is 3 the other 1.
Recently we moved to Essex to be closer to family and for better jobs. The move was ok but fairly soon my job fell through and it put us up shot creek with money. Dave had. Good job but it was. 2 hour commute each way and he worked 5pm till 5am.
In November he started acting a little strange. He just wasn't himself he even asked me if I thought he should see a doctor because he felt so down. At the time I was suffering from postnatal depression and was desperately trying to make house and the baby in a marriage work. I have a lot of issues with my dad and I put them as my main focus.
Looking back now I can honestly say that yes I can give him any attention or support that he required, or to my children.
Basically he started speaking to people online as a way of getting attention. I didn't even notice this because I had found a new job and had started work I was so wrapped up in everything else I didn't even notice him I didn't sit with him for dinner any more I didn't sit with him in evenings I just couldn't be bothered.
Cycle of days before Christmas he decided that he couldn't take any more I left I was absolutely devastated and it was awful. After the shock I took time to decide I needed to change myself whether he was here or whether he was gone there were changes I needed to make in my life. I made them changes and got on with things and eventually of days later he came running back they give me sene so sorry he can't believe were you done. We Took a long time talking through things and eventually decided we could do this because we love each other so much we could make you work. Everything was going really well for about two weeks and then he just changed he was angry he was depressed he was shaking he was not himself at all. He went for a work dinner which I knew was rubbish so I checked up in his pocket when he got back to find the receipt for dinner at a restaurant for two people.
Fast forward a little bit and it turns out when he first left he slept with somebody a shame of it and I think I'm running back and he truly believe that you could make it work and was so sorry what he had done. Then the really shocking bit. she's pregnant.
The first time they had sex was 20 December I only found out about all of this last week I told him it's rubbish how the hell can she be pregnant, she's only 19 and she's fully in love with him so I really don't know.
Anyway I punched in the face Admittedly feel bad now! I packed his clothes and threw him out.
After a long and emotional week I have gone through so many emotions I decided I didn't need to speak to him and the truth behind it all is that I do believe we are meant to be together and we could get through this,
, Overnight it probably won't come over months it may take years but I made a vow. So now we have spoken he is in a really bad place he keeps saying he can't believe what he's done is a different person he hated he is he doesn't know what to do with himself.
He tells me not to feel sorry for him he tells me he probably will be with her because he doesn't know what else to do. He says he is afraid of hurting me and the girls, he can't control himself and wishes he wasn't here anymore because he doesn't know who he is.
I've become stronger over the weeks and I feel level now. I love him and could make it work bit he is in self pity mode. I'm not contacting him waiting for him to do it but I don't know if that's right.
He still comes over and sees the girls and provided money for us and so it's all amicable
I'm so confused
When will it all stop?