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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

single mother complex problem woes

1 reply

HelloBoys · 15/01/2014 16:09

I am posting on behalf of a good friend of mine.

She's a lunchtime assistant and for past year has been having a relationship with a TA. he's always been vague about introducing family and friends to her and both their DD's are at the school AND his ex, mother of his DD and an older DD. He also didn't want to go public about the relationship due to upsetting his DD and for fear of the school not approving.

On her birthday he made some excuse about looking after his sister who has epilepsy but came to see her late at night - booty call.

at Christmas he ended it suddenly, he just couldn't continue etc yet after Christmas texted her a sob story reeling her back in.

Anyway a good friend of his told her this week that he's actually been having another relationship with someone else whilst seeing my friend. She of course is upset and furious.

Here's the other twist.

She has an autistic DS (14) and his school recently suggested boarding school for him as he's very difficult, and his routines involve a complex washing/lotion routine etc by his mum. She's separated from her ex-DH but not divorced and he and his mum (more his mum) provides childcare on Saturdays for her - she works for a high street organisation. her ex-DH is very controlling and gets angry easily (police involved once).

So she has ZERO social life - if she wants a night out her ex-DH and his mum are the only options. her brother lives in Manchester and her mother lives too far to babysit.

Options or ideas? I'm seeing her later and don't want it to be just about me providing tea or wine and sympathy or maybe that's what's needed right now?

OP posts:
Nojustalurker · 15/01/2014 19:41

I was going to suggest the man was still with his wife until I read the full story.

I don't see it as a twist but two separate issues. She is upset with the situation with two timing man who she nolonger goes out with. She will need the kind is support anybody coming out of a relationship would. It sounds like she may have low self esteem.

With ths issue with the son. I think you can only listen and ask questions. Perhaps post this part on the special needs board as you may get better help there or the name of an organisation she can turn it. I would suggest she contacts social services for an assessment and see what support they can put into place eg respite care.

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