This time last year I became friends with a woman who I got talking to in the local pub. We hit off immediately and an intense friendship grew. We'd often do things as a foursome with our DPs. I got on really well with her DP with whom I had a lot in common. My DP confessed that he found my friend "too much" and a bit of a "drama queen."
Then in October, my friend announced that she had her DP were moving away - he'd been offered a job he couldn't afford to turn down and she felt the place they were moving to would be a much better place to bring up her 2 DC from her first marriage. Although I was happy for her, I was gutted that she was moving away. She admitted that the thing she was going to find hardest about moving away was not being able to see me as often. She told me that I was only the second friend she'd ever truly clicked with in her life. I assured her that moving away wouldn't change that and I'd visit soon.
Anyway, DP and I were due to go down there in November, but at the last minute he had to work so I went alone and spent a lovely long weekend in their company. There was however one point when I was in the bathroom and I heard raised voices downstairs. I didn't catch much of what was said, except something along the lines of her DP saying she was getting wound up over nothing and her responding "oh, I bet Papier never gets wound up, does she?" It was all smiles when I went downstairs, so I assumed I'd misheard and forgot about it.
Just before Christmas, I broke up with my DP. It was a mutual decision after accepting that we just weren't right for each other in the long run, but it still hurt like hell because we were still in love with each other. Obviously I turned to my friend for support, but found my texts / phone calls / emails ignored. At first I assumed that she was busy with her kids (she can be somewhat scatty occasionally) but after two weeks of no contact I sent a half-joking FB message to her DP asking why it seemed my friend had disappeared off the face of the earth and could she call me when she had a minute. I heard nothing back from that message either.
I decided to leave it - I assumed that they were busy with Christmas so left it, but then today I find that she has defriended me on Facebook. Her profile has low privacy settings, so I'm still able to read her status updates, which makes me pretty sure that nothing bad's happened in her life which has caused her to shut off from everyone.
So, it looks like my friend's dumped me - but why?! The only thing I can think of, based on my getting on well with her DP, the conversation I overheard and the fact that I am now single, is that she sees me as a threat to her relationship, which is ludicrous - I don't see her DP in that way and even if I did, I wouldn't do that to a friend - I would have thought that she knew me well enough to know that I am not a predator! She comes across as extremely outwardly confident, but the more I think about it, the more I think she has underlying insecurities. One time, for example, at a karaoke night, we sang a duet together. Afterwards she had a mini sulk because she perceived that I was a better singer than her, even though she'd been having singing lessons.
The situation now is that I'm left feeling high and dry - I invested so much in the friendship, but then she wasn't there when I needed her the most. In many ways, losing the bond of her friendship is harder to deal with than the breakdown of my relationship - at least that had closure.
I guess what I'm asking is can any of you relate to this situation? Do you think that it's best that I keep my distance or try and get some answers from this woman as to why she has cut me off and hopefully try and assuage her insecurities with a view to continuing the friendship?
Thanks.