Is it possible to heal from past experiences?

[theeverydaydancer]

I feel like I've been run through the mill a few times over the past week so am feeling very emotional, raw and slightly mad.

My life story in a nutshell is - toxic parents, string of shitty relationships, quite a few shitty life events, now single mum to beautiful DD.

I am going through a sort of cull of bad habits at the moment - I have quit smoking (am on day 11) and also alcohol which I would use to drown my sorrows (am on day 6). Am exercising more. However I don't know if it is all part of the detox but rather than feel fresh and great, I feel like the hulk has decided to make a home for himself in my head. I have been so bad tempered, agitated, EXTREMELY ANGRY. Have been throwing stuff, snapping, swearing, hitting pillows.

I have been NC with my parents since September (I consider it the BEST thing I have EVER done!) and have kicked my lazy arsed ex into gear with regard to his share of childcare and maintenance as well so have made changes in this respect too.

I feel now like I want to move on with my life and want to heal properly. I feel sometimes like a broken person. Is it possible to heal completely?

I dont know about healing completely but I absolutely believe that you can heal.

I have been in some bad places, I once begged a psychiatrist to put me away I was so desperate to be out of an abusive relationship! Luckily he didn't... and I am now in a fairly good place and, like you, trying to improve my life style. I read somewhere that you only need to do something 30 times to make it a habit! I am not sure if that means 30 days running? but it is something I am trying to implement.

Do you think the anger may be related to giving up smoking? I have never smoked so I can't really appreciate how bad it is to give up but I think that is a fairly likely explanation.

All the wasted years make me very sad, and the fact that now I know I will never have a truly loving relationship, however, I don't regret what I went through, it has made me the person I am today, which is hopefully more sensitive, kind and understanding to others. And I try to appreciate the fact that I have all of the bed to myself :)

Coshing so many bad habits at once - especially the mood-altering ones - might have been too much of a stretch tbh. Try to find a constructive outlet for your anger rather than inflicting it on anyone else. If necessary, ask your GP for help. You have lots of choices about what happens next in your life. Good luck

Some of the best people I know are those who's battled adversity, and yes, they can heal I think. There are a lot of people who have never had bad experiences in life who remain quite shallow and unfeeling in a lot of ways. What you have been through is an opportunity to build character. Just as long as you realise the bad stuff people do to you is to do with them and not you

The feelings are coming thick and fast because you have made space for them. Alcohol in particular can stop you processing difficult thoughts and feelings.

Agree with others that it may help to find an outlet for some of the more angry feelings - exercise is good! Otherwise write stuff down (but don't post any letters you write in a rage).