I wish he would hit me

[Enid]

says my sister about her husband

who does she inform if his behaviour is becoming more and more violent and erratic - does she have to wait until he actually hits her before she can do anything

she wants him out of the house

No, b/c if he has pinned her to a couch, he has already been physically abusive.

I would tell the police.

No - abuse doesn't have to be physical - the fact that she thinks it might escalate should be enough as she is scared for her safety. Do they have children?

It sounds horrible, Enid.

Women' Aid may well advise her - they give a broad definition of abuse, or there may be a helplline as part of the local council - a Domestic Violence Team. they do deal with emotional and psychological abuse - there are MN-ers who have ben referred in the same situation as your sister.

Can she contact her local women's aid group? Domestic violence is defined as emotional, physical and financial abuse. He seems to have crossed the line of two of these definitions - don't know about their finances. She should log the incidents with either the police or her gp so that she has evidence to back up a petition for unreasonable behaviour.

If he pinned her to the couch, did it leave bruises on her arms? Even if the only residual evidence is stress, she should at least report that to her gp.

You said there were other incidents. Has she logged them, got evidence, seen her gp?

Victim Support would be able to help.

yes she has logged them

I feel awful now as I have just lost my temper with her as she is still letting her h's sister babysit for her (they have an 18 month old dd, my niece)

I just think its mad to stay on good terms with his sister at this stage while their marriage is breaking up

her husband is living with his sister and yet she lets the sister in her flat to babysit

made me see red

my sister says its because she wants my niece to stay on good terms with her aunt

Enid - i had felt the same way. i wold sometimes argue back so that he would hit me hard enough to leave a bruise so that things would end.

try not to loose your temper with her. she is under so much stress at the moment and it is very difficult to the best as you just dont know what that is.

TBH i think that she is right to stay on good terms with the SIL. she needs as many people on gher side as she can. going through this is ifficult anyway but if you have to not only fight the H but his whole family too....you are running uphill from the start.

I know yuor worried about her but try not to put added pressure on her.
Guide her to the womens aid website HERE

and help her make arrangments