bear with me please. left husband of 21 years in May last year. Generally a pretty emotionally abusive relationship but the love was gone pretty early on in the marriage and it consisted of arguing on an almost daily basis in the end.
Rough times - did I do the right thing? Shock when he found a replacement quickly too. All the normal stuff I think.
Moving on. Start seeing someone about 2 months ago that I knew a bit already through some work being done on my house. Fancied the pants off him and seemingly him too. Started out a very sexy relationship with both of us wanting each other the same amount. Lots of sexy texting etc etc. Saw a lot of each other straight away. A few laughs along the way as we tried to negotiate the difficulty of kids not being around and getting round to the 'deed'. This finally took place and it was wonderful. He is/was a very sexy man. Sexy eyes etc etc. Made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up with almost every touch. Had a wonderful time through Christmas. Within a short time he told me he was 'in love' with me and felt that he wanted to be with me forever. This I found flattering but slightly suspicious. I guess my thinking was that anyone that can fall in love that quickly can fall out of it just as quickly. I still fancied the pants off him and loved the way he kisses etc etc .
Last weekend was the first chance we had to spend the whole weekend together without fear of interruption. It went well for me other than the fact the he snores like a train and I got next to no sleep. No matter was good sex though.
However, just prior to the weekend and since I have found the texts have become just chat and none of the lovely dirty flirty stuff we did enjoy and he hasn't made a single sexual move on me since last Sunday despite seeing me and being alone with me in the house all day Saturday. I have tried flirting, tried seduction methods etc etc. Tried throwing out the odd suggestive text message too with no results, well not the kind of response I was getting a couple of weeks ago.
I am fast coming to the conclusion he thinks he's done with the courting side of it and time to just settle down to being a bloke. Beginning to feel like it does in a marriage of a few years.
I tried to talk to him saying that I felt less desired and sexy. He got a bit defensive saying that I have asked him if there is something wrong when there isn't and he says he feels like I don't trust him. This has got nothing to do with trust. This about having a good solid base of a relationship in all aspects before moving onto feeling like he's ready to start snoring on the sofa while I prepare meals.
That may sound a bit harsh. But I'm just not ready to feel like that yet. I wanted the fun and flirtation to go on for a bit longer. I don't feel particularly fancied any more.
Maybe this is because the relationship is based purely on lust on my part. I am at a stage today where I am not wanting to text him or talk to him but have a bit of time off. I don't know whether I'm switching off to save myself from hurting, which I know I'm prone to do, or is there something in my gut telling me the red flags are there and he has tried to rush the relationship for a reason. I still fancy the pants off him. I still would love to enjoy the wonderful sex I have with him, but I think for my own sanity and my heart I should back out now. What do others think?
Just to give this context, we are both in our 50s and previously married. However, he has been divorced for about 7 years and had other relationships since then at least two of them long term where he lived with the women in question.
So Mumsnetters tell me what you think?