I need to vent

[babyrose]

I'm worried about my df and our relationship. We have been together for 5 years and have 3year old ds and also bought our first house in June 13. Ds just started nursery in The summer but when he comes home he screams and shouts doesn't want to see his dad etc EVERYDAY. Df is really really taking this to heart and I tell him not to its just a phase he is going through and it will pass. Also if Ds wakes at night he screams if df comes near him and just wants me but there are times where I can't settle him and I need help and df tries to help but hen ends up just walking away and leaving me to it.

We are both so tired and don't get much time together as a couple. Df works mon-thurs 4:30pm til 2:30am and I work sat/sun 7:45 til 5:15 our w/ends usually pretty quiet.

I love my Ds and df so much this arguing is getting to me so much and I hate it I just want it to stop.

Does DS spend the weekends with Dad when you're working? Do they go off and do things together ever, just them? When he screams at night do you ever just leave them to it or do you always step in and take over? It probably just is a phase but it sounds as though they need to spend time together and get to know each other. Build up the relationship

When you are together and DS expresses a strong preference for you maybe say occasionally,
"Sorry sweetheart Mummy has to do X but Daddy can do Y for you" and remove yourself from the room.

It is just a phase but can see it is hurtful for DF and tiring for you. Throw in lots of praise about DF when talking to DS along the lines of poor Daddy it's not kind to shout at him. Remind DF it is temporary and not to take it to heart and still kiss and cuddle DS when possible.

Thanks for the of replies.

Yes Ds and df spend the w/ends together but during the WK they play together and spend time together other ways. If Ds wakes up at night upset we take our turns in going but usually he wants me. Ds likes the person taking care of him that day to put him to bed/ if he is hurt and so on so it could also be a relationship thing going on here as well.

We had a big talk today and sorted things out and df is knowing he is sensitive just now to things just now.

With respect, you can't keep going along with 'what DS likes'. As the PP said... Daddy is going to do this for you now... is a perfectly legitimate thing to say to him.