Feeling weird today after split

[Rocklover]

Hi, I don't know whether any ladies who have been through this can offer any words of wisdom, but I feel so strange today I wonder if I am normal!

Tuesday I was numb, yesterday I felt incredible pain and despair, today I am veering between relief, even excitement, but then feeling terribly guilty that I am not desperate to get back together. I also feel horribly guilty about the things I did to contribute to this break up, my parents are obviously blaming the whole thing on him (especially as he has treated them quite badly recently), but I still know that I have to take responsibility for some of it.

I have an incredibly guilty conscience anyway and just know that I am going to continually blame myself for alot of what happened and will find it hard to let go, although rationally I know I shouldn't do this as it will only make my life harder. I am the kind of person who feels terrible for just taking a day off work. It's really getting to me and I need to stop it as it's too late to change things now!!! Any advice?

By the way DH is coming back from London today and will have to stay here until he finds a flat. Also it is our 4th wedding anniversary today and I am worried how we are both going to feel about this, especially as my sister is taking me out to cheer me up, what if DH is really unhappy about this?

Honey, it's only normal to go through a grieving stage. After all it is the death of what was and the beginning of what will be. I don't know your situation, but I do know that you will feel stronger and get better and move forward.

Let's face facts! It's over and it's done! Your reasons for the split haven't changed have they? So, time to begin to look forward to what you want your life to be.

It will all come good. Expect some sad days and wonder why days? But know that the days of happiness, freedom and joy are knocking at your door.

Mars

Dont be surprised if you start to feel horny and upset. Didnt know that that could happen. I felt the same emoticions but i am up and down. I even feel grateful that he had an affair so i can get a new start.

hi, I think it is normal to go through all these emotions. I spilt up with ex recently and I have met someone new even though me and ex aren't together I found myslef having big pangs of guilt over meeting someone else so soon. But like You I tend to feel guilty over everything.
Hope today goes ok for You.

I know that ultimately both to blame for this, and I guess I need to past that. I am also feeling resentment at his inability and unwillingness to talk, it was this that kind of pushed me to the edge and then I began to behave badly. I just think that maybe we could have saved all this if he had listened a bit more instead of just getting angry. I will look at that book about helping kids cope, although DD is 18 months at the moment and will not understand. I am excited but scared of the future, I am not desperate to meet anyone now, but I really don't want to give up my dream of having a family and it all seems totally impossible right now. I feel cheated and guilty at the same time!

Please excuse grammar etc