I WANT TO LEAVE HIM SO BAD.:( BUT I AM TRAPPED

[dreamingalone]

you were all right.. Nothings ever going to change.. I am miserable. and i dont want to be with him a second longer. But i cant leave him because:

I have post natel depression and i am on tablets and finding it hard to cope on my own with the kids. i cant imagine it just being me looking after the kids its hard enough when hes at work :(

plus my mum and i are so close she lives down the road and she would be devestated if we split up i know its not about her but she was so happy to still be here on my wedding day ( she has alot of health problems) i really dont want her to know we have split up.

I have lots of friends and i dont want to tell them either. because everyone thinks were so happy.

im at my mums now and hes downstairs i just want to scream as my mum just walked out the door " please just let me stay here i am miserable at home" but i dont want too

I told him a few days ago that i do not want to be with him and that its over he laughed and said " HAHA OK. as if he isnt taking me serious. i then said you need to find somewere to stay ( he moved 2 hours from home and has no one here and no money to stay in a hotel) so he said " im not leaving" i said but you need to he said if you want to leave then you can go to your mums and leave kids here i said "hows that gonna work one of them is breastfed" i said you seriously are asking me to leave our family home? he said he didnt mean it.. but that he is not leaving his family and i do not want to get police involved because theres nothin violent and i dont want any drama. so i said FINE sleep on the couch atleast. and then in the middle of the night he snuck in bed. i didnt say anything. the next day he was hinting " its cold downstairs.. i havent got a blanket.. " i was ignoring his hints. and then everntualy i said fine you can sleep here. i gave up next few days he is cuddling up to me i said why are you acting like evrythings ok he said he isnt..

ugh i just hate this i hate that i used to think i dont need a man aslong as ive got mykids but i cant even cope im a failure and i dont know what to do.

Please talk to your mum. Whatever health problems she may have had, she is your mum and she will be more heartbroken when she finds out you were miserable and hid it from her than she will to hear that you've left this guy. PND may make you feel like you can't cope but it really isn't being helped by the feeling that you are trapped. You're not a failure.

dont make decisions when you are unwell. PND takes time to heal from. seek a therapist immediately. please tell the people around you. there is no shame in being unwell. you need support. you may feel differently about your family when you have recovered. most women recover well from PND, but when they are in the middle of it, it is hard to see it. if you went to a group for women with PND you could get really good advice from people who have had it and recovered. tablets are usually not enough. talk to your GP about a referral to a therapist who has experience dealing with PND.

'Nothing's ever going to change' means that these problems causing such misery probably existed well before the onset of PND.

Please, talk to your mum.

Mums with health problems still care for their daughters, and want them to be happy (nice mums, I mean). Please, try talking to her. Just saying something might help you.

Thanks everyone - seen a councilrr last tuesdsy , I will wait well wr moved altogether when I was 5m pregnant had 2 babies within a yr 1 Month of each other it's never been a ball of laughs but now I cant cope