Hi Everybody
I hope you don't mind me posting after not posting for so long, but I've had a nightmare today and would really appreciate some advice....
My now ex-dp and I met while he was enduring an extremely abusive relationship. He eventually found the courage to leave the 'lady' in question and a few months after they had separated, ex-dp and I decided to take our friendship further.
We had a brilliant time together and I thought that he was pretty close to my perfect man!!
His ex-dp didn't contact him once, until she discovered that had a new girlfriend - then the 'wotsit' hit the fan. As a result of the constant harrassment she gave us (too much to go into individual incidents), I was not prepared to put my ds or myself through all of the stress and constant threats and we reluctantly decided to call it a day.
So, as I understand is fairly common in abusive relationships(?),(I may have got this completely wrong and apologies if I have), ex-dp couldn't stay away from her for too long and consequently he moved back in with her.
Although I was very sad that we had split up, and that he had put us all through a lot of upset for nothing, I was relieved that the situation was resolved and I was very lucky to find a really lovely guy soon after, who I have been getting on really well with. In fact, I think it's fair to say that I had put the recent past behind me and moved on.
But unfortunately this wasn't to be. Ex-dp's partner managed to get hold of my mobile number and home number and over the last month has called me constantly, telling me how much her and ex-dp are in love and then calling again, the same night, to ask if he's with me as she doesn't know where he is!!!!!!! I have explained time and time again that I am happy they are back together (sounds mad, but if that's what makes him happy) and that I have moved on, but this doesn't seem to register with her.
I have handled the 'phone calls well, but today I was in the centre of town with some work colleagues, when she accosted me in the street and to say she hurled abuse was an under statement. I was utterly humiliated. I am usually very quiet and I'm also career minded so was even more embarrassed that this was done in front of my boss. I also live in quite a small town and no doubt the gossip has already circled the neighbourhood three times over.
Anyway, I have decided that enough is enough. I'm fed up of speaking to her politely on the phone (I must have spent hours reassuring her we were over) and calmly helping ex-dp move back in with her because she demanded it.
I'm so angry that I want revenge. I don't mean physical violence or anything illegal, but something to put an end to all this. I don't want to involve the police as it's all so petty.
This woman gets what she wants all the time, but I've decided that I'm not going to be another person she gets one over on.
Does anybody please have any ideas that don't involve violence but would allow me to get my point across? My pals say the best form of revenge is not to react, like I didn't today when the whole town was staring at me, but I'm not prepared to be bullied any longer.
I know she is claiming benefits that she shouldn't and I'm tempted to report her, but not sure if this is a great idea.
Thank you and sorry it's so long.