I'm trying to separate out my different feelings about this and need a bit of impartial advice.
My sister is 2 years younger than me and similar in ideas, intellect and values, but very different in personality. We are very close. She is very kind and gentle, whereas I am much more assertive and cynical.
She is married with two DC. Before she had DC1 she had an excellent career and was well respected within her field. She is highly qualified. She moved to a less well-paid and respected job in the first year of her marriage because of her DH's work. Since having DC she hasn't worked at all. Her DH has a very responsible, very demanding job with long hours and rarely takes time off, not even when she is ill. He didn't even take his paternity leave when the most recent DC was born. She says there is no point asking him to. She does all the childcare, housework, cooking and never gets a lie-in. She is also a sounding board for his ideas about work (as I said, she's bright and his work is in the same field).
She is the classic supportive housewife, who occasionally gets a nice meal out with the head of DH's organisation.
Her DH loves her and the DC very much but I feel he is ultimately very good at looking after himself and his wants and needs. He is not abusive or cruel in anyway and never raises his voice or questions how she spends money or raises the DC. No infidelity or EA.
Anyway, he has been offered a role abroad. It's a wonderful opportunity. For him. Dsis would go there, with two small children and do exactly what she does here, but without the support of her family and friends. It's a long way away, but English speaking. It would be for at least 2 years. Unless he gets flights as part of the deal it is going to be incredibly difficult for any of her family to afford to visit. (I have started saving BTW)
Now, I would be very excited for her - it is a great plan to live somewhere else for a while and if DP and I had this sort of opportunity we would go for it. But I am very anxious about her not having a job/career and being incredibly lonely with 2 small children in a foreign country. I don't feel confident about her DH looking after her and she is not the 'lady of leisure' type. Also, when he gets back he will likely take a very high up role in this organisation and her career will once again be on hold. Even when the DC are at school, she will always be playing second fiddle to his career.
Should I stop worrying about this and just let them get on with it? I do not look down on her being a SAHM, but I do think women should be able to support themselves financially if and when needed. Am I allowing my feminist principles to cloud my judgement? Or am I just wanting my little sister to stay close?