Boyfriend has left me

[MyGrandmaToldYourGrandma]

I posted a couple of days ago about my relationship with my boyfriend. We have been together for 2 years and I love him so much, don't want to be without him, but after arguing almost constantly for 2 years he told me last night it is over.

Absolutely gutted. But I can't cry. I'm numb. I've text him a couple of times. He's replied saying it's over. He won't ring me or answer his phone.

I don't know what to do.

Sorry you're upset. It's always tough to be rejected. All you can usefully do at this stage is gather up your self-respect, resist the temptation to beg him to reconsider, and leave him alone. Getting out the with a few RL friends and letting them tell you what an arsehole he was and how you can do so much better is always therapeutic.

His loss, right?

Be kind to yourself, leave your phone alone and let your friends support you.

I am so sorry you are upset, please stop texting though, you have to leave it now.

One thing that jumped out to me is that you say that you argued constantly for the two years of your relationship. That can't have made you happy, it's no way to live your life with constant arguments and stress. There is someone out there for you who you won't be like that with, where it will be easier.

I don't have any friends. It's just me and my mum. Kept myself busy this morning.

Have I got the right person, you were staying at his parents house every weekend?

I'm sorry, I know how much it hurts. When I'm on the receiving end, I always try to remember that it hurts more ultimately to be with the wrong person. When you are with the wrong person (even if you love them) you are not free to meet the right person.

But forget new men... concentrate on meeting people to develop friendships. Maybe a volunteering activity, if you don't gave money spare for social activities?

You poor thing. It is the most awful thing ever to be dumped. Keep busy, that is v important.

Why don't you have any friends to talk to? Are they all mutual with him?

I'm sure you miss him and must be really upset but a relationship that you characterise by saying you constantly argued isn't that great and didn't really have long-term prospects - at least not healthy ones. You have done the right thing in splitting up.

I'm sorry to hear that you don't have anyone but your mum to share this with - I'd really start trying to widen my circle of friends, if I were you. Having new people to see and do things with will take the edge off your break up.

2 years of almost constant arguments isn't a functioning relationship. I'm sorry you're hurting but it's clearly for the best.

Oh OP, I am sorry. But from the sounds of things, it's for the best. Every couple argues - it's natural and even healthy to some extent, but for two years at the beginning of a relationship? That's not normal. It's not healthy. I'm not surprised he ended things.

Leave him now. Texting him and calling him obsessively won't change anything. If anything, it'll push him further away and he'll be even less inclined to talk or give a reason for anything. If he wants to get in touch, he will. If not, he's perfectly within his rights to make that decision.

You need to keep busy. Focus on other things - work, take up a new hobby, do things with your mum, go out and make some new friends - maybe start up a class somewhere? Learn a new language, start a new TV series or read a new book series. Distract yourself and stay busy, and think positively - it's not healthy to be with someone for two years and to spend most of your time arguing, it's really not.

I'm here for a hand-hold. I know how it feels OP, and believe me it does get better.

The single best thing I did for myself when my ex walked out on me was hold on to my self respect by not contacting him - same goes for you - he has made it clear. He knows your number, if he wants to talk to you, he will.

By holding on to your self respect, you can hold your head high, know that you've done the right thing and be proud of yourself. This stood me in good stead a few months on from my breakup when my ex behaved like a childish arse by running away and hiding from me when he saw me in the pub. If I had been texting/calling him begging him to come back at the beginning, then his behaviour would have been justified. Since I had not done those things, I knew that he was just being a giant tit.

4 years on, I'm still proud of how I reacted, and I still reap the benefits. Please do the same for yourself - protect your future self by holding on to your self respect, don't text him.

The second best thing I did was to keep myself as busy as possible during those agonizing first few weeks. Do something, anything, every day to keep your mind occupied. It won't make you forget about him, you'll still hurt, but it will help you see that there's a life out there away from him.

You will feel better, it takes time, but it will happen

x posted with TheDoctor and we've both come out with very similar advice! It's easy to see it when you're on the outside, but takes great strength when you're in the middle of it.

You can do it. And I agree - arguing for 2 years is no great relationship. You'll see that one day.

He has rang me. I'm surprised to be honest and not sure how I feel. But he's asked me to go down tomorrow and we'll talk.

Talk about what? You're not his possession to be picked up and dropped when he fancies. Just because he says 'jump' you don't have to say 'how high'. You've been unceremoniously dumped. Give yourself some time to work out how you feel & then you set the agenda rather than letting this idiot run the show.