My parents have never been nice to me. I have a sister, who was, and still is, the favourite child. My father has severe anger management issues and was awful and extremely strict with me as a child (he was less so with my sister but I think she was probably more accepting of his ways and so she avoided getting in trouble). He is a champion sulker, and gets very easily offended and annoyed, and would practically invent things I'd done wrong so that he could smack me, and then sulk. My mother is very controlled by him, and it is definitely an emotionally abusive relationship. However my mother also scapegoated me, and went along with everything my father said, and is also toxic in her own way.
I will list some of the reasons why I've gone non contact with them:
They clearly favour my sister and her children over my children and I. They babysit a lot for my sister's children, buy them clothes constantly and fuss over them, ignoring mine. If ever I've asked them to babysit my children, it comes along with lots of martyr-ish behaviour, lots of huffing, puffing, and lots of conditions. Such as telling us when they arrive at 7pm to babysit that they'll only babysit until 9pm, instead of the agreed 10.30pm, when they know full well we're going to see a film or meeting friends, therefore we end up changing our plans. Anything revolves around whether my sister needs them first, and I come second. They will happily change plans at the last minute if my sister then asks them to babysit.
On the rare occasion they have our DC, my dad loses his temper and shouts a lot at them, and my mum moans about DH and I to them, criticising everything we do and saying we're bad parents.
They are hyper-sensitive, fall out with everyone, and get offended over every tiny minute little thing. they think that they can say whatever they like, and then anyone that retaliates is wrong. So it's ok for them to say that DH and I are bad parents, but when I told my mum it's out of order to say that, I'm the one in the wrong for daring to speak up. My dad once didn't speak to DH and I for 6 months, as DH's friend walked past him in the street and didn't speak to him, and my dad assumed that we'd been slagging him off to the friend! We didn't even find out what we'd supposedly done until 6 months after the non-event happened. They have fallen out with numerous neighbours. Once we were in a restaurant and I made a joke to my mum, something that no one normal would take offence at and she started screaming at me and crying in the restaurant!
I have found out they have given my sister a huge sum of money and bought her loads of furniture for her new house as they 'didn't want her to get into debt'. My mum can't see the problem with this or that it is unfair.
My sister only has to break a fingernail and they are there, looking after her children, doing her housework and looking after her. I was very poorly a few months ago with flu and my mum wouldn't even pick my children up from school for me (we live in the same village so it would have been a 10 minute job)
They just don't act like 'normal' parents do, and I don't feel like they contribute anything to our lives. There is no relationship there really. My mum comes round, ignores me, and speaks to the kids and DH and has no interest in me. She regularly undermines me with my children.
I was hit/smacked regularly until I left home at 21. The more I think about the this the angrier I feel (am 37 now). My dad also called me a little slut/bitch/nasty c*nt regularly.
Anyway, I have decided to go non contact with them and now they are going round telling their sob story to family members and saying that I am difficult, and very ungrateful and that I am inventing things that they've done.
Is it me, or am I justified in cutting them off?