Please bear with me, this will probably get long.
I am 26 years old and my boyfriend is 25. We have been together for 2 years. We met on the internet in October 2011, and 4 days later we met in person and hit it off straight away. We lived an hour apart by train. He drives, I do not. Both of us still live at home with our parents.
When we first met we had a lot of fun, saw each other every couple of days. We lost our virginity to each other one week after meeting (yes, both very late bloomers, he's my first boyfriend, he has had a few girlfriends but never been in love before).
A month later, his parents let me stay at his house. This involves sleeping on an airbed in the living room as he has two brothers, and shares a room with one of them.
This soon became a very regular occurrence and every Friday and Saturday night would be spent at his house.
Every Saturday night we go to the pub with his parents and one brother. His other brother is autistic and stays at home on the computer. There are no other pubs within walking distance and taxi's are too expensive for our budget, hence why we go the same pub as his parents. Staying at home at his house is not an option due to the other brother being there.
Sundays are spent hanging around waiting for his mum to cook the Sunday dinner. After dinner, I get the train home.
This is how it has been for 2 years.
We do have the occasional night or two away in a Travelodge, we went on holiday to Somerset in March 2012, and to Spain (with his family) in September 2013.
Now it comes to money. When we first met, I did no have a job and he was working between 7 and 15 hours a week.
In September 2012, he went back to college to do an access to higher education course. He got top marks in his class and in September 2013 started a 4 year course at university, in his home town.
Because of college and now university, he gets very little spare time so in order of seeing each other, it is me who visits him. My mum is very ill and likes to have peace and quiet at all times. This is another reason why I usually go to his house and not him to mine.
I desperately want us to get our own place but I am unemployed. I suffer with depression and it makes life very hard. I got a job in October 2012 and absolutely loved it but sadly it was only a Christmas job and it ended in December 2012. I was so lucky to get the same job again this year and was given a six month temporary contract, starting September 2013. However, one week before Christmas we (all Christmas temps) were told there were no more hours available and our last day was December 22nd. I was, still am, absolutely gutted. I had been saving up for a deposit on a rented place, and for money towards essentials in a house. However, back on JSA, I'm now spending that money.
DP is now working just 7 hours a week as it is all he can manage with his uni work. There is no money. It costs me £11.30 a week on the train (was £10.50, then £10.90, now £11.30)
All we do is argue due to lack of money. I want what I can't have. I want to be able to do things, but can't because of no money. I wanted to book a £9.50 sun holiday but we can't because of no money.
In July my 16-25 railcard ends, meaning trains will be £17 a week. This is something I just cannot afford.
I love him to bits, would lay down my life for him, and he feels the same about me, but we are going nowhere. We argue 2 or 3 times a week. He blames me, I blame him.
I'm desperately looking for a job, but there are none. In order to move to where he lives, I need a job to get my own place (I would share with other people to begin with) but to get my own place I need a job.
I feel we are going nowhere, we are seeing less and less of each other because of his uni work (one night every 2 weeks at the moment) but my love for him grows stronger each day.
I don't know what I'm expecting from writing this. It would kill me to be without him, I don't want to be without him. He's my everything.