What to do please help!!!

[Shine007]

My husband and I have been married for about 8 yrs and got two children age 2 & 3.5 I have been offered a good job abroad which provide housing and childcare. My husband is against it as he doesn't want to leave his parents. I'm confused to what to do as I really need this job and I've suggested for me to go with the kids and see him every three months or he could come and visit anytime as it's only take 6 hrs in flight and he refused and said he'll make me arrestec if I take the children with me. We don't seems to get along in making decision he is in control of everything because he is the bread winner in the family.
My job started in march and I want to go what should I do?

Well assuming you want to be with your partner then you have to both want to go.

That is totally unfair of you to consider taking the children from him and expect him to be happy seeing them every 3 months .

If you so badly want the job why do you not go-leave the DC's with your H and you visit them every 3 months or so

Are you actually seeing this as an opportunity to separate yourself from this controlling breadwinner?

I got the same feeling as Cogito, but you will have to do it while in the country, I'm afraid. Yes, he could call the police, and I wouldn't take the children to another country if my husband didn't want to go.

But, you seem unhappy in your marriage.

OP, could you put yourself in your H's shoes?

How would you react if he told YOU he was doing this?

Did you not even discuss potentially working abroad before you put your name in the frame for the job?

Is there a strong reason why he doesn't want to leave his parents? (Old, frail, ill? And he is important in their care?). Or does he just not fancy the move and you suspect he's coming up with pretexts?

I do rather gree with HissyNewYear that there's a communication problem between you.

But as you want this job, and think that having one parent 6 hrs away is OK, perhaps you could be that parent?